Tuesday, January 04, 2005

My problem

It hit me like a ton of bricks last night, what my problem is. All my writer friends have planned out their writing goals for the year, some of them even have clever spreadsheets to track their progress, and I have...*cue drum roll*...NOTHING.
Hence my problem. I have Writer's Commitment Anxiety. In my opinon, that's a BIG problem.
I have pinned the reason down to Time. It takes time to raise a family. It takes time to write. I am a horrible manager of Time (my husband bought me a Palm and a fancy schmancy Franklin and practially begged me to use them--I figured he was hinting at something...you think?) and all my time seems swallowed up in taking care of kids and home. The little time I do have, I spend on the computer in my online writer's forum! *groan, I know* But its too fun and I enjoy the support.
My agent, in his tri-yearly letter to his clients, mentioned something I found very interesting. I'll quote:
"It is important that you actually write, and not PLAY at the role of being a writer and/or working at your “career” of a writer—you must write and produce and sell and publish—that is your responsibility."

It has really gotten me to thinking. If I am serious about completing two novels this year, I need to shake my #$%&!! up and just write. I need to make the time to work on it, every day.

Since I've become a stay-home mom, my first and foremost job is caretaker of family and home (a job, which, despite my complaints I actually delight and find much joy in).
I thought I would have more time to write, but that's a misconception. I seem to have less time these days. So I need to treat my writing like a second job. I'll just have to figure out how to make it work. I am not a person to put ultimatums out there (for instance, "Honey, I have to write and if you don't like it, you can shove off")...it's just not me. I don't think one should take precedence over the other. I need to find a balance between my writing and family, and that is going to take some hard work and dedication.
Funny, after I typed that sentence I heard my name being called, I had to run out of my office and pack a lunch, get the kids to get the garbage out, fix my daughter's hair, take the dog pee and wipe a butt. Lovely. What a glamorous life I lead! :-)

...My Point, is that I need to make more time to be a writer as a career, and not just a hobby. I'll get there eventually. Baby steps. I've already warned my hubby that when the kids are in bed, I'm going to be on the computer at nights. He's taking a trip next week for five days, I think I am going to go like Gangbusters on one of my novels and see where I get. Looking forward to it!
Eventually, I will solve my problem. And it won't be a problem any longer!

1 comment:

Michelle Miles said...

Lara, I love that quote! I may have to print it and pin it up on my monitor at home. It's very encouraging and inspiring. Good luck with your goals. I know you can do it. :-)