Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Held Hostage in my own Home...

OKAY. The last four days have been nothing short of ridiculous. But I will say, that even though I am a complete zombie, I am sitting in front of this computer to tell you about it. So get comfortable, because here goes:

On Friday, my husband's two younger brothers (who are both married with families) flew up here (I think to escape their families, at least in one case) to help us paint a few rooms in our house. It was going to be a fun weekend, with some hard-core painting for a day or two, and then, a relaxing last day where they'd go out to dinner and spend some enjoyable time together. Here's what actually transpired:
On Friday, Curly and Moe (not their real names) flew into the airport at the same time as my hubby, who had been away all week on business in L.A. They arrived at home and we had a great night, eating pizza and talking and watching movies. (Their movies of choice: DODGEBALL and NAPOLEON DYNAMITE--frankly, I haven't laughed that hard in a while.) Anyway, we had fun, and were determined to drive to Home Depot at 6am the next morning, to Get Officially Started.
Cut to the next morning, it's 8:30 am and I have been up since 5am, and am currently making a breakfast of scratch blueberry muffins and omelette and bacon, my kids are whining because they don't understand why uncles Curly and Moe won't wake up, even though they've already gone to the guest room and jumped on their heads...twice.
I finally get them all up at 9am and we scarf down our food and they get dressed. They leave for Home Depot to get the paint and painting tools (I've provided them with the colors I want for the formal dining room, sitting room, formal living, kitchen and basement) and I hang out with the kids as one, two, three hours pass and they finally come home, bearing all sorts of ginormous power tools, painting things, electrical things, etc.., and NO PAINT except for the basement because they have had a "brainstorm" at Home Depot (aka: My brothers-in-law-talked-my-husband-into-it) and NOW think that they should, aside from the painting, install Crown Moulding and change all the electrical outlets and switches from cream color to white.
I, speechless, finally ask them when they will have the time to do all this in TWO days. They claim that with their "expertise" and a little help from Pepsi and Red Bull, they will not sleep for two days straight and get it all done. But I will need to be their gopher. I reluctantly agree, since I truly hadn't planned on doing anything but painting.
Then they dump a ton of Behr paint swatches on the kitchen table and tell me that the colors I picked are outdated. (I thought that the exquisite red for the dining room and the toast color for the sitting room were fabulous, thank you very much) Apparently everyone has a red dining room, and I need to get with the times.
After two more wasted hours of harrowing Paint Swatch Discussion (well, more like "argument", resulting in me losing my temper at least twice and calling my hubby a naughty name both times) we finally decided on a mossy/olive-y color for the dining room, to match our dark furniture, and a desert camel color for the sitting, and "Pismo dunes" for the formal living, which is a cross between brown and mustard.
So, after that fun episode, it was my assignment to go and buy the paint, and lunch, while Larry, Curly and Moe, got to work on the basement. They were finishing the whole thing in a cream-colored satin, because what was currently down there was a cheap-a$$ flat paint that showed a mark if you breathed on it. Not good for having young kids running around.
By the time we all got started, it was 3pm, and we had absolutely NO idea what the next few days held for us.

I guess I'll tell more tomorrow. I'm too damn tired after all...but I promise it might be entertaining...


Michelle Miles said...

HA! My husband and I have nearly gotten *divorced* over decorating. I can't wait until tomorrow's installment!

Ann said...

Your posts can be so funny!!