Thursday, September 12, 2013

PINTEREST LIES. (Sometimes.)

I probably am on Pinterest once every few days. I am not hugely addicted anymore, like at first. But I still love surfing and finding new ideas. One of my boards is literally titled "DIY And Pray It Turns Out This Way" because I am realizing something--only about 25% of crafts I do from Pinterest turn out the way the beautiful-perfect-lighting-soft-focus pictures do. In fact, a lot of my crafts end up looking like something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoe.

Why else would the blog "Pinstrosity" be created? (If you need a good chuckle, go take a look. My new favorite phrase is "Nailed It!")

As with anything you glean from the Internet, you need to be wary of Pinterest as well. Yes, it's a wonderful vehicle of Craft Sensory Overload and honestly most of the recipes on there are TDF (To. Die. For.), but some are outright lies. Take my jelly-roll pans for instance:

I've had these babies for seventeen years. (Got 'em for my wedding!). As you can see, they are...interesting. Hubby calls them "seasoned." I call them gross. Well, on Pinterest, there's this magic "formula" with baking soda and peroxide, etc. that promises that if you whip it up, and scrub it on your pans, they will look like this:
Yep, after a little scrubbing, they will be all shiny and clean. You see the major difference here?
So, naturally, I was excited to get my old yucky pans brand-spanking new and beautimous. I mixed up the concoction, got a really scratchy sponge, and scrubbed. And scrubbed. And scrubbed. Here are the results:



Yep, Pinterest LIED. I could have scrubbed until the next Hunger Games movie came out and my jelly roll pans would still look like this. I had to dub it a Pinterest Fail. My conclusion? Pinterest lies. But only sometimes. 
You just need to be wary of the pins with all the exclamation points. Some of them are a little outrageous. But of course the best way to find out is to try them yourself. 
Happy Pinning! (Oh, and the shiny jelly roll pans shown are the ones I finally went out and bought because I was sick of my gross ones. In case you wondered.)

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


With my parent's generation, it's more like "Where were you on the day JFK was shot?"
My generation? 9/11, without a doubt.

I can't remember a lot of things. I probably couldn't tell you what I did last week, let alone twelve years ago. But I can tell you exactly what I was doing that day, and how events unfolded. On this day I always remind my kids (who were too young to remember) what happened. I tell them the story.

I will never forget. Ever.

Monday, September 09, 2013

Huh? Fall? What?

It's jaw-droppingly amazing to me, how fast this year has flown. I seem to be saying that a lot lately, every year. What does this mean? Are our lives on fast-forward? It seems that way, lately.

It's September. Halloween is in full swing in the stores, people are blogging about Football and sweater weather and pumpkins and fall leaves, etc. etc.

Where I live, it's still 90 degrees, and a little hard to get into the "Fall Spirit" yet. But we are getting there. I think I'll have all my Halloween stuff up in a couple of weeks. It's just...weird. Weird that we're already here.

Crazy week for me, so I'd better get going!

Saturday, September 07, 2013

I LOVE being a Football Mom!

I will be honest, never thought I'd say these words! My kids have always been Soccer and Basketball. Football was just never a thing. My kids aren't "big." They aren't meaty. But Thing Three, who is currently on his 7th grade football team, is fast. He's a Wide Receiver. He loves it. It's like candy to him, seriously.

Every practice I pick him up from he has this huge grin on his face, even though he's soaked in sweat from sprints and pushups and suicides for the last 20 minutes of practice. He's always got a funny story, or just a report of how it went, etc.

(I will insert a small caveat gear is NOT fun to clean, and I've pretty much given up on is cleats some days, but it's all part of the sport, right?)

But what I didn't count on--the GAMES. Football games are much more fun (although intense) than soccer. Everyone is pumped up, music blasts over the loudspeakers (you could probably bottle and sell the tangible adrenaline and testosterone in the air, haha) and it's just so much FUN. Granted, every single play he's in I grit my teeth and clench, because I don't want him to get killed, but it's still fun to watch the team work together. Right now we're 2-0 and our big rival game is today. STRESS.

I almost wish football season lasted longer. But that's ok, because Basketball season is pretty dang fun too!


Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Anyone Who Can Neatly Fold a Fitted Sheet Has Obviously MADE A DEAL WITH SATAN.

I think I'm missing a certain gene that other women have. I can't fold fitted sheets. Or round tablecloths. Why is this? I can fold shirts, pants, socks, towels, washcloths, I AM EVEN A LITTLE HANDY AT ORIGAMI. Yet stick a round tablecloth or fitted sheet in front of me, and I must walk away. I. Can't. Do. It. I know women who can. I consider them Freaks Of Nature.

Yeah, feeling a little inadequate today.

And while I'm at it--I seem to have missed out on some other genes that females have. Like, the "cute bubble handwriting" gene. My handwriting could be called spidery at best. And I'm also missing the "I can style girl hair" gene. Because even though sometimes there's a whole lot of Try there, it just doesn't happen. You should see my hair sometimes. You should've seen my poor daughter's hair growing up. It was either A) in a ponytail or B) in TWO ponytails. I can't French braid. I can barely braid. I'm sure my daughter resents me for her lack of cute hairstyles growing up.

And yes, today is Laundry Day. That would be the reason for my little rant. And since Brevity is the soul of Wit, I'm done for now.