Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My Kids are Wimps.

Status: In full PARTY mode---tomorrow night is it!

Okay, yesterday was a little hairy. As in too much going on. (No more hairs in the food--don't worry!)
Had to get up early and shoot the kids to the Dr's office for their flu shots. Well, since Thing Three is allergic and Things One and Two are DEATHLY afraid of getting shots, they get the "two-squirts-in-the-nose" kind of flu shots. We did have a panic moment when the nurse walked into the room with a tray of hypodermic needles. Apparently she hadn't gotten the memo that we took our vaccinations in the nose. Thing Two went into immediate Hyperventilation Mode, and Thing One looked at me as if she was about to stand in front of the Firing Squad.

Thing Three, my brave little daredevil, actually WANTED the shot, which I would normally oblige if his shoulder didn't swell up like the Incredible Hulk for three days afterwards...

So we got it all straightened out and they had their Flu Nose Squirts. Then it was off to school.
THEN it was off to Target to return the White Nintedo DS Lite I got for Thing Three for Christmas, because I discovered they have RED ones and they are way cooler. So I exchanged, and then ran to the grocery store to get cookies and milk for the Cub Scout outing at the Pumpkin Farm. Nope. No time to bake cookies from scratch. After the Philadelphia Ready-Cream cheesecake filling Debacle, you think I would have learned. But I am on a tight schedule, people!

So when the kids came home at 4pm we had to jump into warm clothes. Well, I TOLD them to, but I was greeted with whining all around: "It's too hot, Mommy! The sun is out! We'll sweat to death!"
I told them very calmly that the sun would go down while we were there, and they would be very cold. More Whining. So I lost it. I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK YOU'LL BE HOT I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL MIND ME THIS INSTANT AND GO GET YOUR SWEATSHIRTS ON!!!!!

So we bundled into the Expedition at 4:30 and drove 1/2 an hour to the Pumpkin Farm. This is the kind of farm that is actually a dairy farm, but they sell pumpkins too, and give hay rides, tours of the dairy, etc. Very cool.

When we drove in, my kids were having attacks over the VERY pungent barn smell, and I said "HELLO...COWS!!" I mean, give me a break! Cows are stinky. My kids were sort of in awe though because there were cows everywhere, and they've never been up close before.

We waited for the rest of the Cub Scout group (Ha ha I was the only one on time) and Thing One (who had complained about not wanting to go) immediately perked up when one of the boys at church arrived, who she is crushing on. (He's a year younger than her but the cutest little kid ever, and he likes her too, so it's entertaining to watch.)

So, first order of business was a tour of the dairy. They have this 100+ year old barn that is built in the old style: two levels, dairy on the bottom and feed/hay stored in the top level. I about passed out from the smell (I had little Thing Four bundled up in his stroller like a burrito so I don't think he could smell it) and there were about 50 cats and dogs in the barn. It was neat to see. We all got to stand at the gate while the cows walked in, were milked, and walked out. They explained the process in minute detail, and we were about five feet from the cows the whole time.

I learned a lot about cows. A) They stink to high heaven B) They need to be milked twice a day (all the moms with me who have nursed cringed when they saw those bulging udders) and C) they are Filthy. I mean deee-sgustingly dirty. And halfway through the milking viewing one cow (who's butt was literally right next to the pen gate) lifted up the tail and WHOOOOSH--pee everywhere. The kids all screamed and ran for cover. The urine stench was so strong I had to breathe through my mouth. I mean, I could have reached out and TOUCHED THE COW'S BUTT, I was that close. EWUGH.

You KNOW that's the only thing the kids are going to remember about the outing. In fact, when Hubby came home later that night and asked how the Farm visit went, the kids immediately told him about the Pee Incident. Niice.

ANYWAY, after that, we went and saw the calves, and the feed, and the goats, and by that time my kids were all whining about how COLD it was. I reminded them that they had fought me on wearing coats and all they had were sweatshirts. They didn't say another peep after that. Dang I love being right!

Then it was a hayride to the pumpkin field to get a pumpkin, and back to the car where we wolfed down the cookies and milk because it was so dang cold. On the way home, I fielded about 69345 questions about cows, and Thing One wouldn't shut up about how two of the boys were fighting over who got to sit next to her on the hay ride. Yeah, she obviously was paying attention to the tour. SMIRK.

I concluded that my kids are wimps. They can't even handle a dairy farm smell. They wouldn't last a week caring for all those cows. Maybe there's a farm somewhere I can ship them to where they'd learn to work hard and deal with unpleasantness? But anyway it was good to get a different perspective for them. They need to see stuff like this, so they can realize that their protected little bubble isn't "all there is" in this world. It's an odd balancing act--you want your kids to be "in the protective bubble" but also to experience some of the world. At least we try.

So we got home and I started boiling spaghetti (the fastest thing I couldn think of) and checked email and lamented with a friend over the status of Dumbledore's Gayness, (we both agree it was an unnecessary outing!) and then it was feed the kids, and get them into bed, and Hubby and I collapsed on the sofa to watch some of our shows.

I'm worn out this morning. Luckily it's a quiet day of cleaning, before the Dreaded Birthday Sleepover tomorrow night.



Anonymous said...

Your kids aren't wimps. They just aren't dairy farmers! Snaps to you for taking them and letting them see the cows up close.

Lowa said...

Ah...this brings back memories! I grew up on 80 acres in Canada and *I* milked the cow (we only ever had ONE) and the goats every morning at 5 and every evening. We didn't use the goat milk for anything, but gave it away to a local child who was allergic to cow milk. I loved those goats! They were great lawn mowers:)

You are right about the stink. It was funny though, cause all my friends and I stank as well. Doesn't matter how often you shower, what you wash your clothes just stink like where you live. Which was fine, 'till we went somewhere around people who weren't used to it (like your kids?? LOL) and they made comments. I have a few funny stories, but I won't fill this up with them.

I took my kids to a diary that made cheese, etc last spring. Was very stinky, but extremely informative. Except that now a few of them are addicted to a lovely $15/lb Herb Gouda that they sampled there! LOL

That is cute about Thing One! She reminds me a lot of my Jock, just from various things you say:) Oh, and good luck with the DS. Jock and Clown each got one last Christmas. Good heavens! THat is ALL they want to do. We keep them in our room and they know they have to do chores to earn playing time, only get to play on weekends, etc etc. Still, they never shut up about them! They would play them 24/7 if they were allowed.

Unknown said...

SERIOUSLY. Did she really need to mention that about Dumbledore? What part does it even have in the entire series? Zip.

On a side note, I love petting cows' noses. They are so soft.

Anonymous said...

Funny post. My kids are wimps too. I grew up on a farm and it's quite entertaining to really gross them out. It sounds like a wonderful time.

As for Dumbledore's gayness. Ah who cares! Rowling's books are "preaching" tolerance anyway. I'm not surprised and I'm not really one to read a book and think about a character's sexuality. I mean let's face it, he wasn't a blatant Drag Queen and she didn't shove it down our throats.