Obsessed.

**warning: serious post today **

I get obsessed easily. Especially with new projects, or new story ideas. Or hobbies. Whenever I get it in my brain that I want to do something, I have to do it all at once, and full throttle at that, I can't be "patient" and do it in bits and pieces.

Case in point: My "Under the Radar For Now" story has become my latest obsession. And I do mean obsession. I didn't do a smidge of housework yesterday, and Thing Three got babysat by the gamecube and the TV. I was a HORRIBLE mother yesterday. I spent all day on the computer, obsessively doing research and ordering books that I would need, and running to the store buying filing supplies and labels and highlighters, you name it--I am going FULL STEAM on this project.

But as I mentioned before, it's a delicate subject. It's not mainstream, like all my other works of fiction. It's unlike anything I've ever written before, but I'm driven to do it, like there is an invisible force pushing me, urging me on.

I'd like to say that my Muse is in full force as well, but I feel like it's something else. Things are falling into place too easily. I'm finding answers to my questions without effort. Non-feasible things are becoming feasible. It's really quite scary, how well everything is going. Yesterday was no exception. Part of my story requires something that could be a major stretch of imagination--and I was searching the internet all day, looking for a loophole--some way that it could work.

And I had a breakthrough. Just as I was about to give up and try something else, I found it--documentation that would make my idea less of a stretch, and actually believable. I was in shock. I sat before the computer screen, not knowing what to think, but jubilant because I'd found what I'd been looking for.

Also yesterday, the entire story came to me. Before then, I had a "rough" idea of what I wanted to do, but just thoughts and images. Yesterday morning, it arrived all at once...the entire story from start to finish. Almost like I'm not making it up--only dictating.

I don't want to get too "Twighlight Zone" or anything (for those of you currently hearing the music in your heads) but this is an extremely personal and delicate issue for me, and it takes a modicum of bravery to get it out on paper, but I feel like I have to. I need to.

That probably makes no sense at all.