Friday, September 10, 2010

An Amendment To a Coined Phrase

I have one more thing to add to that "two things are certain" saying.

"THREE things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and LAUNDRY."

Think about it. Who wears their clothes until they rot off their bodies? NO ONE. Which means laundry. And since I, like most mothers, do not want my children running about looking like ragged urchins, it means LOTS OF LAUNDRY.

It never ends. Seriously. Of course, Hubby and I are of two minds on the subject. Hubby says it's either clean, or it's dirty. You wear it, it's dirty. I say, there are several different "stages" of dirty. As in, okay, you wore the shirt today, but you didn't get any food or dirt on it. You can wear it one more time, especially if you're a nine year old boy whose sweat glands haven't fully developed. Maybe twice, if you're really careful. Just be sure to hang it up after you wear it or I'll have to iron it, and that will be not so bueno.

Okay, yes, the "stages of dirtiness" thing is definitely a ploy to keep the mounds of clothes at bay, the shirts, the shorts, the jeans, the underwear, the SOCKS (don't get me started on the socks!) that six people go through are legion. I know I've said it before, but I've always seemed to have a mountain of clothes that's heck-bent on rivaling Mt. Vesuvius in my laundry room. It never seems to diminish. Yes, I'm the mom who waits, and does fourteen loads of laundry in one day. And then I get so overwhelmed with all the clean laundry, I sometimes get it mixed up and end up washing it twice.

Stop rolling your eyes like that. I'm sure you have some fabulous system, and your kids all line up like cheerful oompa-loompas and fold and put away and maybe even sing while they do it.

*My* little cherubs, bless them, whine and drop to the floor and whine some more and let me know they're really, really REALLY put out before they fold and put away their clothes. But at least they mind me.

Yep. Threatening to take away their video games works wonders. Bwahahahahahaaaa...

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Now I need to hitch up my harness and start tackling Mt. Vesuvius...and, just in case you wondered--the above photo is not of my laundry. Dear heaven above, is that a BABY in there????


Anonymous said...

OMG it is a baby!

Very funny post. And my kids definitely don't sing while they fold.

Devon Ellington said...

I had laundry chaos until I started working on Broadway (off-Broadway was still chaos) and learned several of the show systems. I found if I applied them to home laundry, it made things much easier.

I agree - - there are stages of dirty, and some fabrics have to be laundered less in order to have a good life span, or laundered very specifically or spot cleaned.

And dry cleaning sets in the stinky.

Like I said yesterday, I don't even have kids and my laundry is ridiculous. so I can easily imagine 14 loads stacking up in a few days.