Panic Mode.

I had a little revelation yesterday, hop on over to my writing blog, The Potted Pen to see what I'm talking about. (Warning, you might have a craving when you're through!)

I had a major panic episode yesterday. About 4:30, I received an email from the relocation company, that my household goods in storage were being brought to the house TOMORROW, unless I wanted to pay for it myself.

Hmmm--at the prices they wanted to charge, I think not. So, I went into full blown Catastrophe Mode and ran to Home Depot and bought six sets of shelves, to make room for all the furniture and things. UGH. Then I got an email that they were actually bringing the stuff on Oct. 2nd, which gives me a lot more time to figure things out. WHEW.

Crisis averted! But you know what *I* will be doing all weekend!

It's been raining--a lot. Soccer practice was cancelled last night. I am just happy my allergies are nonexistent. Everyone is starting to get their Fall stuff up, even pumpkins. Um, sorry, no way. I will not be putting pumpkins out this early only to have them rot in two weeks because it averages 85 degrees outside. I do FAKE pumpkins, thank you very much! The trick is, to get them to not blow away.

That's another thing I noticed here. A lack of wind. My last house was on a hill, and the wind was relentless. I mean EVERY DAY. Here, we hardly get any breeze. It's awesome. So, maybe my fake pumpkins will have a chance! ;-)

I seriously have nothing else to write about. Guess it's time to wrap it up.

I've Discovered A Gold Mine The Kraft Web Site

Okay, most of you will laugh and laugh and laugh at me over this, but I am not the "best" cook in the world. Hence, I need a lot of help. But I need meal ideas that don't take an hour to make, but rather, 20 minutes at the MOST.

So, I was futzing around on the Kraft website yesterday while waiting for my 9th load of laundry to dry (don't worry, I have four more) and I discovered...(drumroll please...) RECIPES!!!

And not just great recipes, but QUICK and EASY recipes, that my kids will love! I've been getting the Kraft magazine for a few years, but I didn't know about the wealth of recipes on the web site! I spent a good hour (bad Lara!) on the computer yesterday, printing up recipes for my book and "filing" them in my online recipe box. LOVE IT!!

This is where you can laugh. I am probably, literally, the LAST person on earth to hear about this site. Isn't that pathetic? Yet I am giddy with joy, because now, I can do the whole "One Bag, Five Meals" thing, and I have at least a dozen new recipes for dinner.

WOO HOO!

Okay, ahem, I know, pathetic. Anyway, I am very happy about it. And today is Laundry Day Part II, because I got a "little" sidetracked with it yesterday with my new discovery.

I am loving all this rain--no allergies! Hurrah!!!

I Need Laundry.

Okay, ouch. It's been raining, and I just wiped out in front of my house while wheeling two ginormous trash cans out. Applause, anyone?

WHEW. Can I just say that? This weekend was a little...hairy. Let's just say on Saturday night I fell into bed completely exhausted.

Thing One has a volleyball clinic the next few Saturdays, we didn't realize when we signed her up it would be 8:30 in the morning. Now, to me, that isn't so bad, but to a daughter heck-bent on "sleeping in" on Saturday morning, it might as well be 4am. Yeah, she wasn't exactly thrilled.

So, I got up at 7am, got her up, got Thing Four up, ran Thing One to the gym with Thing Four in tow, then drove 20 minutes to the dry cleaners (the only decent one I can find is 15 miles from my house), picked up Hubby's suits and shirts for his BIG meetings this week, ran home, dropped them off, said goodbye to Hubby and the boys since they were going for hair cuts, gulped down breakfast, and ran to pick up Thing One from Volleyball.

Met back at the house at 10:30, and hubby decided it would be fun to go to an early lunch before Thing Three's soccer game, so we jumped immediately into the cars, had lunch, and at 11:30 I took Things Three and Two with me to the soccer fields, which, as luck would have it, are 40 minutes away. I know, crazy, huh? We got the short end of the stick this year.

Anyway, got to the game, completely incinerated ourselves for an hour and a half (but Thing Three's team won! WOO), and when we finally got home at 2:45, I had to run to the store for a couple of things for Sunday dinner, then it was back to get ready for a 5:30 dinner date with friends, and THEN my friend and I left from the dinner and headed to church for a women's broadcast. Which we giggled through most of, because quite frankly, we were both so bone-tired.

Sunday was better, I just had to wake up early and prepare my lesson, and get a roast in the crock pot because we had company for dinner. AND get everyone ready for church, ha ha.

But after dinner it was sort of relaxing. I beat Dr. Zombie for the 10th time on Plants vs Zombies. I know, a total accomplishment. But hey, I needed to unwind!

Laundry. Today will be laundry day. I need something mundane and relaxing! ;-)

Drive Through Movie

I was soooo bad at Thing Three's soccer practice last night. I decided I was going to do what *I* wanted to do. I was going to watch a movie.

In case you wondered, the soccer fields have ZERO parking, so there are cars lined up along the roads, parked on the fields, anywhere they can find a place. Of course it doesn't help that we have "skills night" on Thursdays, which means all the kids on all the teams in the league come together for skills drills, in addition to the micro soccer games AND baseball games that are already in progress--can you say cars cars and more cars??!!

So, I get VERY lucky last night, after I've circled the roundabout about 15 times, this lady right in the front pulls out, so I pull right in. And I'm prepared for the next hour and a half. I've got a diet mountain dew, a mini-pack of crackers, and my iPad. I watch Thing Three run onto the field, roll the windows down, prop the iPad on my steering wheel, scoot the seat wayyy back, and start watching AVATAR.

It's as good as a drive-through movie. An hour later, I'm totally into the movie, and I hear a gasp outside during a tense part. I look around and see that about half a dozen kids have gathered around my Sequoia (unbeknownst to me because I was so "into" the movie) and they are watching the movie too. In fact, the mom in the car right next to me seems to be watching pretty intently, as well. ;-)

I say "hey guys" to them and they all giggle and scatter at being discovered. Except for one little kid. I mean, I didn't care that they watched. It just caught me by surprise. The kid watched with me until practice was over, and it was very dark. Thing Three said he found our car easily because A) it's white and B) it was the only car with a bright TV-like light flickering inside it.

Good to know. ;-)

We are just going to chill this weekend. We have soccer games and haircuts on Saturday, and Sunday, a whole lot of RELAXING. With a good dose of family time, for good measure.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Cleats: Check. Socks: Check. Shinguards: Check. Suit of Armor: Um, Huh?

I swear every knat and mosquito in Union County must have a little radar built into their teeny tiny antennae, that alerts them whenever Thing Three, my nine-year old son, steps onto the soccer field. I can hear their little teeny bug thoughts now:

Beep beep beeeeep! Everyone! Quick! He's on the field! Buffet Time!!! Wheeeeeeeee!

Since playing soccer in a suit of armor would seem a little problematic, I've had to slather him with copious amounts of mosquito repellent. One problem--his skin is very sensitive, and he gets a rash. Maybe his sweat combined with the DEET or whatever is what causes it. I don't know. So, the suit of armor is looking better and better all the time.

I have to say, though, I have an hour and a half, three times a week, where I get to just sit in my car and do whatever I want, while he's at soccer practice. (The fields are 20 minutes from our house, so it's not practical to drop him off, I have to stay.) So, I read, or watch a movie, or edit, or whatever the heck I feel like doing. It's kind of nice. I mean, I could be like some of the parents and grab a lawn chair and sit in the sun and do nothing but watch them scrimmage as I offer myself up as a tasty morsel for all those blood-sucking bugs, but hanging out in my car just seems more...comfortable. ;-) Call me crazy.

I get to get new license plates for Hubby's car today. No more Wisconsin anything! We will officially be North Carolinians! I'm a little sad, but not really. I don't have TIME to be. (see previous post.) I just hope I have all the paperwork right.

Happy Thursday, everyone! This week is flying!!!

Can We Have a 34-hour Day?

I figured I need about ten extra hours in the day. Ten extra hours would mean I could get more...done.

I know I'm not the first person to lament this. In fact, isn't this a Universal Lament? I wish I had more hours in the day! We hear it all the time.

So, I propose we pass legislation or something. We go until 17 o'clock, instead of stopping at twelve. And after 17 o'clock, we can start over at 1 o'clock. Which basically means, from the time I get up at 5:45, to the time I go to bed at 10:30 pm, I will have five more hours to get stuff done. It also means I will have five more hours of SLEEP.

Sounds like a win-win to me!! What do y'all think???

I know, I know. If I planned my day better and scheduled and charted and graphed it out, etc. etc. yadda yadda yadda I'd have more time for the things I need to do vs want to do. I totally get it. But if you're like me, and you resist structure, and being regimented, well, you need more hours in the day.

Hey, I can dream, can't I???

Well, THIS is Different...

It is so weird to me, that it is the end of September, and it is still 95 degrees during the day. Probably because I moved from Fricking Siberia Wisconsin, which isn't exactly warm this time of year. It's usually about in the high 60's to low 70's during the day, and 40's at night. This time last year my kids were wearing their coats in the mornings, because the air had a bite to it.

Not so, here. The grass is still green (brown in some places because we're on watering restrictions) the trees still have blooms, very few are changing color yet, and it still feels like summer. Except when you walk into a craft store and see all the Christmas stuff up. Heh heh.

I mean, the pools are still open! And I've heard a lot of kids/adults wear shorts year round, here. Now, that is a BIG change from what I'm used to. I'm kind of liking it. Except I'm a cold-weather girl. I always have liked cold weather clothes. The boots, the jeans, the chunky sweaters and turtlenecks and jackets, and you don't exactly wear those when it's 90 degrees out. ;-)

Things that make you go Hmmmmmm.....

You Know...

...there's nothing worse than getting tickets to a game where your beloved college team is playing, and making a nine-plus hour drive with two boys fighting over the same DSi game the entire way, and getting shirts, hats, a big game hand, etc. etc. and snapping pictures, getting no sleep in the hotel room because you're crowded in with other people etc, etc....

...only to have your team soundly TROUNCED by the other team, 10-34.

I mean, that REALLY puts a damper on things.

Because then, you have to endure the loss, plus the crowded hotel room one more night, plus the nine-hour drive back, with two boys fighting over which movie to watch.

Yeah, not so fun. Hubby, my sympathies are with you.

Let's just say they were glad to get home last night!

I am finally starting to feel better, turns out I had ALLERGIES on top of my head cold, so I finally took some Claritin D (you know, the stuff you have to show your driver's license to the pharmacist for) and it was like night and day. My sinus pressure was gone, I could actually function, it was amazing.

This morning was a little chilly, so I broke out the Pero. (aka Postum substitute) and Mmmmm it was nice to have. I feel a little silly because the url for this blog is "postumdrinker" but I don't exactly know how to change it. I guess I'm just the product of a Bygone Era.

**snort!** Have a good Monday, all!

Impeded.

Hubby left this morning with the boys to drive to Tallahassee, FL for the BYU game this weekend. I'm glad we're only 8 hours from Disneyworld. That's kinda nice.

One small hitch: I'm sicker than a dog. I don't know why, head colds seem to really do me in. The body aches, the sore throat, the cement-head, the inability to breathe through the nose, all those make me crazy. Maybe because I don't have time to be sick. I am INVINCIBLE, and when I get a cold, I am reminded that yes, I am a mortal being, and no, I can have less-than-stellar health. Colds have never been innocuous for me, in that respect.

And yes, Devon, I am definitely doing the eucalyptus/sage/rosemary/peppermint steam thing, it helps! My kids hate it, though. They want to know what the "stink" is, heh heh. I have been looking into the Essential Oils things. Those of you who think aromatherapy and natural remedies is "quack stuff," think again. Our bodies are plied with antibiotics all the time, and we build up resistance. Natural/nutritional healing methods (oils and plants, etc.) are things I don't normally use, so they are actually more effective for me, I think. Maybe that seems a bit "out there," but I am finding I react well to natural remedies sometimes. And Eucalyptus oil is my BEST friend. :-)

I was planning on having a "fun weekend" with Things One and Four while the boys are away, but we may have to stick closer to home if I don't feel better. UGH.

I hope everyone else has a good weekend. Enjoy these great weather weekends before the snow comes! Ha ha--or in my case--keep on enjoying because snow is RARE here!

Bwahahahahahahahhaaaaaaa!!!!

The Holy Toys R Us Mailer

Toys R Us is very smart. You know how they send out those mailers that are basically full-color magazines with spreads of all toys imaginable? Yeah, especially around the holidays. Just to entice our little cherubs into fits of OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH Mom look at the toys can I have them pleeeeeeeeeeeeease???? I probably set foot in a Toys R Us only about two to three times a year. Toys R Us knows this. So, the Mountain is going to come to Mohammed. They will bring the store to me, in full-color magazine glory, for my kids to worship.

Well, they've definitely snagged another "worshipper."

Thing Four, who is three, has been clutching the latest Toys R Us mailer to his chest for the last three days, carrying it everywhere with him. He is convinced Santa Claus will bring him every toy in that magazine, and he sits and stares at it, for as long as I'll let him. He takes it to the dinner table. (and I take it away, amidst protests). He reads it while he's watching TV. I drew the line at taking it into the bathtub.

I have half a mind to LAMINATE the durn thing, because he had a near meltdown this morning when a corner of it ripped. (Mommy my toy magazine ripped! Please mommy please tape it please tape it the toy magazine is broken! please Mommy pleaeeeeeeese!!!!)

The cover came off it yesterday, and we had a near meltdown over that. It has been elevated to "holy" status in his eyes, and I'd better find something else to distract him, and fast.

Ugh.

I have a cold. It hit me yesterday. I thought it was allergies at first, but then the throat started hurting and I got the aches last night. Today I am stuffed up and cement-head-y. Nice. Of course the weekend my husband takes the boys to Florida for the BYU game I will be sick, and unable to appreciate the "girl time." Isn't that how it always works?

I'd better get some tape. The Holy Toys R Us Mailer needs a repair...

I'm In School Again.

I sometimes wonder why I went to school. Because I don't remember a stinkin' thing!

Seriously. My 7th grade daughter needed help with her Science homework yesterday (poor thing, she had four hours of homework!) and for the life of me, I couldn't remember how you find the density of an object, or it's volume, or ANYTHING. Since she didn't have her science book, I had to GOOGLE how to find those things. Which, of course, helped, and I "remembered" again, but honestly, I have forgotten so many things!

And I really think that as you get older, you forget even more things. Like words, for instance. I can't snatch words out of the air like I used to be able to. I used to have a pretty decent vocabulary. NOW, words get stuck. I know what word I want to say, but I just can't...grasp it.

Must be a "getting old" thing. Can you say vitamin supplements?

The weather is cooler in the mornings, now. Probably in the 70's. But it gets back up into the high 80's during the day. I'm getting a cold, I can tell. Either that or monster allergies. It kind of stinks, not being able to tell the difference!

I can't think of anything else to write. Guess I'm done. Man, I'm getting OLD!!!

Can I Just Clone Myself, Please???

I'd like to clone myself, at least ten times. Lara1 would get up at 5am and get Thing Three off to school. Lara2 would work out an hour a day on the elliptical and then do 40 min of Yoga. Lara3 would clean all the toilets until they shined. Lara4 would keep up with the laundry and grocery shopping. Lara5 would cook nutritious yet tasty meals that never get the "EW, WE'RE HAVING THAT??? response. Lara6 would drive the kids to all their sports and activities. Lara7 would be in charge of keeping the house dusted, vacuumed, and decluttered. Lara8 would write a bestelling novel. Lara9 will be the room parent for her son's 4th grade class. And Lara10 would sit and listen to the three-year old yackety yackety yackety all day long and read books to him and play Pirates and Knights Raid The Castle for hours on end with him.

Which would leave me, free to sleep in.

Ahhhhhhhhh.....

What would YOU do if you could clone yourself?

Sara Gruen-- APE HOUSE

On Saturday, Brenda (a friend of mine I've known for years online and finally got to meet face to face!) and I made the drive to the Malaprops bookstore in Asheville, NC, one of the stops for Sara Gruen's book tour. The book is APE HOUSE, and it is on sale everywhere. Most of you will know Sara from her best-selling books WATER FOR ELEPHANTS and RIDING LESSONS.

We toured the Biltmore mansion before the signing, which I HIGHLY recommend (stop into the courtyard and get a chocolate-dipped waffle cone after you're done, it is the best ice cream I've tasted in a while--I loved the mint chip) and it was amazing!!! The grounds are gorgeous too, but unfortunately we didn't get to see as much as we liked because of the FISHOOKS and HAMMER HANDLES raining down on us most of the time! (It almost seemed like the downpour timed itself just as we wanted to be outside! ;-)

We saved the house for last. We did the audio tour, which takes you through 40+ rooms and gives a lot of background on the mansion. We both had complete coronary heart attacks over the LIBRARY--wood-paneled walls, luxurious furniture, tapestries, leatherbound books stacked in rows two floors up, and a fireplace you can stand in.

We wondered if they'd care if we just stepped over the velvet ropes and sat ourselves down for a while. ;-)

Then it was on to dinner and the Malaprops Bookstore/Cafe--a great independent bookstore in the heart of downtown Asheville.

Sara was gracious and poised, and answered many questions. She spoke at length of her research with Bonobo apes, which in itself is quite amazing. She had us laughing with funny anecdotes of her time spent at the Great Ape Trust. I've started reading the book and it is riveting. For Sara's other stops on her book tour you can find the info on saragruen.com.

Congratulations Sara!

And THANK YOU Brenda, for such a great day!!!

An Amendment To a Coined Phrase

I have one more thing to add to that "two things are certain" saying.

"THREE things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and LAUNDRY."

Think about it. Who wears their clothes until they rot off their bodies? NO ONE. Which means laundry. And since I, like most mothers, do not want my children running about looking like ragged urchins, it means LOTS OF LAUNDRY.

It never ends. Seriously. Of course, Hubby and I are of two minds on the subject. Hubby says it's either clean, or it's dirty. You wear it, it's dirty. I say, there are several different "stages" of dirty. As in, okay, you wore the shirt today, but you didn't get any food or dirt on it. You can wear it one more time, especially if you're a nine year old boy whose sweat glands haven't fully developed. Maybe twice, if you're really careful. Just be sure to hang it up after you wear it or I'll have to iron it, and that will be not so bueno.

Okay, yes, the "stages of dirtiness" thing is definitely a ploy to keep the mounds of clothes at bay, the shirts, the shorts, the jeans, the underwear, the SOCKS (don't get me started on the socks!) that six people go through are legion. I know I've said it before, but I've always seemed to have a mountain of clothes that's heck-bent on rivaling Mt. Vesuvius in my laundry room. It never seems to diminish. Yes, I'm the mom who waits, and does fourteen loads of laundry in one day. And then I get so overwhelmed with all the clean laundry, I sometimes get it mixed up and end up washing it twice.

Stop rolling your eyes like that. I'm sure you have some fabulous system, and your kids all line up like cheerful oompa-loompas and fold and put away and maybe even sing while they do it.

*My* little cherubs, bless them, whine and drop to the floor and whine some more and let me know they're really, really REALLY put out before they fold and put away their clothes. But at least they mind me.

Yep. Threatening to take away their video games works wonders. Bwahahahahahaaaa...

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Now I need to hitch up my harness and start tackling Mt. Vesuvius...and, just in case you wondered--the above photo is not of my laundry. Dear heaven above, is that a BABY in there????

Peer Pressure.

First off, I'd like to let my dear friend Devon, whose beloved cat Elsa passed away yesterday, know how sorry I am and how much I care about her. You're in my thoughts, Dev.

A conversation I had this morning with my daughter, who is almost 13:

Her: "Mom?"

Me: Yes?

Her: "Can I start having fresh fruit in my lunch?"

Me: "Um, don't apples and bananas and clementines count as fresh fruit?"

Her: "Well, I was thinking more like strawberries and kiwis."

Me: "You hate kiwi. I had you try it once and you were, if I remember correctly, completely grossed out."

Her: "I know, but all my friends have kiwi in their lunch. they split it in half and eat it with a spoon."

Me: "That's nice, dear."

I mean, really? Part of me wants to say no to kiwi, but I remember when I was growing up, and I wanted to have Yoplait yogurt in my lunch, but back then, that was like extravagant or something. Yoplait was simply too expensive to eat every day. All the cool girls ate Yoplait in their lunch, every day. I never did. Maybe that's why I only eat Yoplait today? Who knows. But I totally get the kiwi thing. **grumble**

At least it's just kiwi fruit, and not a diamond-studded backpack or solid-gold toed shoes or something REALLY over-the-top. ;-)

Okay, I realized how big HUGE of a mistake I just made, ordering fresh milk from Lakeview Farms. They deliver every Thursday, and they bring milk in those old-fashioned glass jars, and leave them on your doorstep, and the milk is to DIE for. I mean, I had a taste of the chocolate milk, and it was like sipping chocolate cream. Yeah. Need to stay away from that stuff. It's for the three year old. Uh huh. I won't be partaking. At least I ordered skim, too, and I will see how that tastes. But I've been told getting milk "two days from the cow" is pretty awesome, so we shall see.

It's Thursday. On my to do list: tackle my closet so it can be called a "walk in" again, tackle laundry (I think I will devote an entire blog post to the never-ending laundry situation tomorrow) and make phone calls. It's actually going to be a quiet day today, we only have soccer after school. Although I just got Thing Three's league game schedule and the games are at a field FORTY FREAKING MINUTES AWAY. I mean, really? I thought this was a community league, not a TRAVELING league!

That's going to put a crimp in my Saturdays...

One of Those Days You Just Want To Crumple Up and Throw In The Trash Can...

Yesterday was a crazy day. I don't know about you people, but my house was a STY after Labor Day weekend. I got all the kids onto the bus, had breakfast, and went to my weekly class. Well, halfway through it, my phone rang (I'd forgotten to mute it, you can imagine being deep in the material and suddenly the "Pirates of the Caribbean" theme rings out??) and it was Hubby. He told me we were going to have a bunch of boys from church over for dinner, and he'd promised them I'd make my awesome sweet pulled pork, with all the fixings. (I vaguely remember agreeing to this, but wasn't sure about the "when." In his defense, he thought it was next Tuesday until he looked at his email).

Needless to say, I freaked a little. Okay, I freaked a LOT. Do you know how long it takes to cook a ten-pound pork roast? ALL FREAKING DAY. If you do it right, anyway. I should have had it in the crock pot at 8 a.m. Here it was, already ten a.m., and I didn't even OWN a roast.

After class, instead of leisurely talking with the other moms while Thing Four played with the other kids, I grabbed him and ranlikehecktothecar and sped to the nearest Harris Teeter for a pork roast. Ran home, dumped it into the crock pot, and then off to Costco for stuff. Of course driving home from Costco my nav system froze (it's an iPhone app, and it kinda stinks) and I ended up getting lost and finding myself in the town of Stallings, wherever that is, until the gps finally started working again and got me back home. Just a little detour. ;-)

Got home and started cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning. And cooking. And more cooking. FINALLY, just as everyone was arriving, I was ready to shoot my face off and jump off the roof, but the house looked great and the food was done. Then I had to run my kids to scouts and cubs and church meetings, with a crabby three-year old who'd had NO nap and yes, I collapsed into bed really tired last night.

Otherwise, the day was fabulous. Today, we just have soccer practice. And I am heating up chicken nuggets for dinner.

Yep, I really am. Watch me.

And Now Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

Now that Labor Day has come and gone (PUT AWAY THOSE WHITE SHOES, PEOPLE!!!) and there's a "Fall Nip" in the air EVERYWHERE but here in North Carolina...one more thing to look forward to?

The regular show seasons are about to begin!!! What are your shows? My current shows seem to be Legion. Seriously. I can't watch all of them. All the CSIs, NCIS, Criminal Minds, Vampire Diaries (wipe that smirk off your face!) Lie To Me, Burn Notice, White Collar, GLEE, Bones, etc. etc. etc.

I swear, I love so many of them. My poor DVR will probably explode. Nikita looks good, too. And that other one with the Con artist. Stop, Lara, stop!!!

All I know is I'm ready to get back into the shows. Escapism at it's best!

And now I honestly have nothing else to blog about. But check out my writing blog--I've got an itch!

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend. Mine was not so bueno, but there it is.

Crap, it's Friday.

...and I didn't get all the things accomplished this week that I wanted to get accomplished. Then again, that's a typical occurrence, so why am I surprised? If I got everything done that needed to be done when it was SUPPOSED to get done, I would be known as someone else:

SUPERWOMAN.

And I definitely am...not.

As for the Hurricane, thanks for all the worried inquiries and well wishes--I am definitely going to be okay. I have friends on the East coast I'm worried about, but I am not near the Outer Banks. I live about three hours inland, so Earl will have blown itself out by the time any of it reaches me. I think. I hope. Anyway, no worries!

I put my Fall wreaths on my front doors yesterday. I don't care. They look great, and there's something to be said about being the first in the neighborhood to put your Fall stuff up. Besides, it's not like I'm decking out my house...yet.

Hubby left from work and met me for sushi last night at a place we'd never been. Eh. It was just ok. But it was nice to get away for the night. Even if we had to be back by nine for the kiddos' bedtime! Can I tell you how nice it will be to SLEEP IN tomorrow morning? No more waking up at 5:45? It will be glorious. Soccer games don't start until next weekend, so we're free and clear!

I dare you guys to put something Fall-themed up! I double-dog dare you!!!

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

SOCCER! And Dehydration...(because of sneaky five-year olds!!)

Soccer practices started last night. I only have one Thing in soccer this year. :-( But at least he's super excited about it.

One thing I didn't count on, the HEAT. This soccer coach is a big believer in conditioning, and he had those boys running all around the field, dropping for pushups, drills, etc. etc. Thing Three was DYING, I could tell, but he was pushing hard to impress the coach.

Cut to the asst. coach's five-year old son, who was supposed to "sit nicely" while his dad coached, gleefully drinking from then EMPTYING OUT MY SON'S WATER BOTTLE INTO THE GRASS. I saw him doing it, and I was so engrossed in the conversation with the other soccer moms, I didn't really realize exactly what he was doing, until the boys had a water break and my son was looking all around for his water bottle. We found it, empty, thrown in the bushes to "hide the crime." My son was devastated. I had no other water. The other boys had just chugged all theirs (not like I'd ask them to share, ew!) Luckily there was only 15 minutes left in the practice. I told him to hang tough and bless him, he did. I took him to the nearest Chick-fil-a and got him a large water, and dinner, for the rest of the family.

You can bet at tonight's practice we will have a large chilled gatorade, AND a water bottle! And a BAG to hide them in. ;-) Can't blame the five-year old. He was just lashing out at his dad leaving him all alone and making him "be good." I'd do something sneaky like that too.

And yes, for those of you who are worried that I truly WON'T take my toddler out in public again (see previous post) no worries, I was just kidding. I do that a lot in my posts. Take everything I say (especially when I'm complaining about my children) with a grain of salt. It's called an attempt at humor. And sometimes I fall flat. ;-)

Although I WILL say I was a little mortified when Thing Four (who is THREE years old, remember) told the lady at the checkout the other day, when she asked him how he was doing:

"When I push my poopies out into the potty, my mom is going to buy me some LEGOS!!!"

**sigh**

Five Reasons Why I Will No Longer Take My Toddler Out In Public:

In random order:

1) He's not yet toilet-trained, and whenever he has a blowout in public, Murphy's Law states that I must have zero diapers/wipes in the Car/handbag to clean him up with. I've said this before. The kid is smart. He can identify words, sing songs for hours on end, tell me all the colors of the rainbow and build a 1/10th scale model of Hogwarts out of Legos--but going "potty on the toilet" is BEYOND him. And of course it's MY fault I can't remember to pack a a diaper, but we're not focusing on ME...

2) If it's 1/2 hour before or after the official naptime, I'm sunk. Seriously. About 12:30, he gets downright CRABBY. And the level of "Crabbiness" goes up and up as each minute passes. As does his potential for screaming at the top of his lungs. And quite frankly, when he's not screaming, he has ONE volume setting: LOUD.

3) See Reason #2 again because my poor ears can't take it any more. 'Nuff said.

4) He acts like a monkey hyped up on narcotics 12 hours a day. And I only say 12because the other twelve hours he's asleep.

5) Three-year olds have a virtually nonexistent social filter. I could repeat anecdotes for days on this. Yesterday was the worst. We are in line at the super Walmart Subway (because it was 12:30 and he was dangerously close to an outburst because I hadn't fed him yet) and we were being waited on by a woman who was...to put it delicately...very plump. Okay, she was very round. A fact that was reinforced when my three-year old pointed at her and exclaimed with glee for everyone to hear: "LOOK MAMA, IT'S HUMPTY DUMPTY!!!"

So, I am left wondering, why, oh WHY do I take him anywhere? He sings songs at the top of his lungs. He grabs the displays in stores and everything falls to the ground. He yells embarrassing things like "PEW-EEEEE, MOM, DID YOU FART????" in a crowded grocery store. He asks for every candy bar in the checkout line. He refuses to say goodbye to the checkout lady if she's even remotely scary. I just can't take him anywhere!!!

I guess I'd better be careful, because soon he'll be all grown up and I'll wish he was three again.

For now, I'd settle for six and a half...