Friday, September 14, 2007

The Lawn from Hades

Infuriating conversation of the Day:

Hubby: Lara, I need that phone number I wrote down.

Me: Huh? What phone number?

Hubby: Last month, I wrote it down on the back of an envelope and left it on the desk. I need it--and I can't find it anywhere. What did you do with it???

You gotta love it when your significant other does this to you. Sure, I can tell you where it went: In the ROUND file. :-)

Besides, I have no memory of what I did three days ago, let alone a month. We have so much paper in this house, there's no way. A needle in a haystack comes to mind...poor Hubby.

I have decided I can't win with our lawn. Hubby is obsessed with our lawn having to look "the best" on the block and since he's been traveling so much and I REFUSED to learn the riding lawn mower (because of a small but embarrassing phobia) our grass has been getting long. With all the rain, the lawn service has been backed up, and they seem to not get to cutting our lawn until it's already starting to grow forest creatures.
Two weeks ago I BEGGED them to cut it immediately, and it started flash flooding. But they came and cut it in the pouring rain, because I asked them to, and basically dug up the lawn with their mower wheels and left TONS of wet grass all over the lawn. (Usually when it's dry the grass just blows away.) So the next week Hubby and I had to mow and it took four hours and TWENTY SIX BLACK BAGS to bag an acre's worth of mowed grass. And they had ruined our lawn.

So, last week, Hubby traveled again and I called the service, and asked them to come mow, but NOT when it was raining. That was last week. We've had sun every single day, but last night it rained and now it's seven in the morning and guess who just arrived to mow our SOPPING WET grass???

Heck, it's just another 26 bags...Whoopee! And of course while we were fertilizing it I lost control of the spreader and dumped about five pounds of fertilizer on the lawn. I scooped it up and put it back into the spreader, hoping hubby wouldn't notice...and the next day there was a dead spot in the lawn about the size of a soapbox.

I really can't win.


Michelle Miles said...

The last paragraph...with the fertilizer...made me laugh SO HARD. You're so dang funny!!

Anonymous said...

Time for a different lawn service.

And make invoice them for what they destroyed. They're supposed to be caring for the lawn, not destroying it.

The fertilizer -- too funny!

Ann said...

Never, never try to drink a coke and read your blog at the same time. (snort!)

Anonymous said...

I want to see a picture! Priceless!

Mike and Kelly said...

You are hillarious! I must say, after reading your profile favorites and then this blog, I think we could be really good friends. You are a hoot.