!*&%$#%!! MOSQUITOES!!!

Status: Under Attack. They've mobilized, and they're ready to take on...well...Wisconsin!

Let me preface this by saying that mosquitoes love me. And I mean they LOVE me. They look at me through their beady little mosquito eyes and they see freaking Crème Brulee. I am a smorgasbord to them. You get the point.

So, Saturday, Hubby gets the bright idea that we need to weed the flower beds. Yes, we paid thousands of dollars for landscapers to put weed-resistant heavy tarp over the beds and put decorative stone in them. And yet we still have weeds. Go figure. So we start pulling, and suddenly I realize that I'm getting bitten. There are mosqitoes everywhere. I complain to hubby, and he dismisses it. "Mosquitoes don't come out in the daytime. They're dormant."

I still insist I'm getting eaten, and I run into the house and spray myself with repellent. A few minutes later, Hubby comes in and asks for the repellent. He's baffled. Yes, as I said, the mosquitoes are out in full force, and they are AGGRESSIVE, hungry little buggers. They're hanging out in shady areas by the zillions, waiting to attack.

Then we realized that since we had all those days of rain, it made excellent breeding for the pests, and now, all their babies are adults. Very HUNGRY adults. So we have a full-blown Epidemic on our hands.

Last night at soccer practice, my kids were getting eaten alive. (I felt bad because I didn't realize the soccer fields would be so infested.) Thank heaven the coaches had the sense to bring repellent and spray the kids down. I couldn't even bring the baby out and talk to the moms. We all sat in our cars with the windows rolled up, swatting at the mosquitoes that had snuck in when our kids opened the car doors. When practice was over, the kids came running to the cars and we were all like "HURRY UP! HURRY UP AND CLOSE THE DOOR BEFORE YOU LET MORE MOSQUITOES IN THE CAR!!!"

West Nile Virus anyone? I have no less than 20-ish bites on my arms and legs, and so do the kids. Thing One is mortified that she has one on her forehead (what if they think it's a ZIT, mom?) and thank heaven the baby was spared. So far. Hubby called me when he got home from work (by that time we were at the church at Cub scouts) and informed me that we had millions of mosqitoes in our garage, and they were getting in the house when he opened the door. So I told him to stop opening the door! On the way home I stopped at Walmart and bought a bunch of repellent. There was only a tiny bit left. People are catching on.

I hope the mosquitoes all die soon. But then again, we're supposed to have thunderstorms Thursday and Friday.

FUN!!! I might as well slather myself with honey and serve myself up with a side of fruit...