Dumb Bird?

Status: Stuffed Up, Achy and 1000% GRUMPY.

There just aren't enough hours in a day. Especially with my ADD/Shotgun methods of doing things. I swear I CREATE work for myself. Monday I spent seven hours in the freezing cold cleaning out my garage. I looked like Neanderthal Woman when I emerged from that mess. My hair was dusty and dirty and mangled from the wind, I was filthy from cleaning and removing an entire winter of dirt and grime, and I was BUTT tired.

And I caught a cold the next day. Go figure. Then I did the guest room. I am very anal with my decorating. Gone was the R.L. deco I'd had in my master bedroom for ten years. Before we moved back from Denver, I'd invested a tidy amount re-doing the Guest bedroom in Waverly. Curtains, Bed, furniture, etc.
I dug it all out of storage and re-did the guest room. That was all day yesterday. Plus I had to fit soccer and trips to the grocery store in there. And OF COURSE the local Target only had two of the four panels I needed for the windows and I had to drive to the Target that was FARTHEST FROM MY HOUSE YET STILL IN THE STATE OF WISCONSIN.

Why do I put myself through all this? There's a pride factor I guess. But also, it's about time I did it. The whole "showing" thing is just the catalyst.

Okay, we've had the WEIRDEST thing happen for the last three weeks. There's this beautiful bird, with a gray body, and salmon pink wings and a salmon pink beak, who, every morning, sits in the Burning Bush by our basement window (yes the same window the Turkeys and Deer love to hang out by) and he acts very strangely--he keeps trying to fly at our window, and he keeps knocking into it, falling down, getting back up, and flying up onto the bush, peering in the window, flying at it, knocking himself down, and getting back up...over and over and over. He does this at all times during the day. He's infatigueable. He just keeps doing it over and over.

I've concluded that A) He's the dumbest bird known to Man, or B) He's fallen in love with our house and wants to mate with it or C) he sees his REFLECTION in the window and wants to mate with himself or D) he was a former enemy who did one of us wrong in a past life and he REALLY wants to get in and apologize. Thing One is entertaining the possiblility that he was a formerly "owned" bird and he wants to "get back in the house" but I don't think so--he wouldn't have survived in the wild for so long, would he?

Who knows. Here I am typing, and I keep hearing these little thuds--because "Beakey" is at it right now. He's peeking in the window and trying to get in. One of these days he's going to knock himself clean out. Birdbrain.

I think I'll make a little bird feeder for him and put peanut butter and sunflower seeds on it. It's the least I can do. Crazy bird.

Well, off to the races I go. Speaking of racing--I hate the bored policemen around here. They park themselves RIGHT in the concealed part of the 25-MPH road that leads to the soccer fields, because they KNOW all the crazed moms are going to be pulling 40+MPH to get their kids to their practices on time. Crazed moms like me. I got a $#&*&*!! ticket. My first in ten years.

Dang it.

Dashing Through the ...RAIN...

Status: Busy but good.

I am dashing. I've already been to the cleaners and the store and filled up my gas tank (ouch) now I'm cleaning out my garage and getting the trash out (my kids do the little stuff, I do the big stuff) and then it's off to do laundry and the guest room. Not a whole lot of "blog" to this blog unfortunately. And it is going to rain soon---the sky looks like it wants to dump about a trazillion gallons on us already. At least I got my "running around" done beforehand. Now I can stay home and focus on the inside of the house.

My builder called and wants to bring people through the house on Monday the 5th, and I said he could. (This used to be the model, and it's one of his unique designs, apparently.) So I need to get the house SHOW clean. It's good for me, because the house needs a deep-down clean. So I've mapped out what I'll get done every day this week. Today is the Guest Room, which has become a catch-all again. I can't help it. I've got JUNK that needs a place! The Guest room is always so tempting, sitting there all emtpy and ready to "fill up" with stuff. Heh heh.

My MIL is having delicate back surgery this morning. We're nervous and hoping for the best. She's in surgery right now. I'm confident things will be okay, but you never know with spines and vertebrae. They're touchy.

OH!!! The baby has fallen asleep on the floor. I'd better pick him up and put him in his crib!

Tornados?????

Status: Freezing my bits off. It's COLD!!!

Thank you for all the kind and helpful comments about my "nagging" post. Sometimes I just post out of frustration. I feel like a hamster on a wheel with my kids sometimes...I run and run and don't get anywhere. Apparently I'm not alone. :-)

Soccer games were all cancelled today. It rained and stormed all day yesterday, and we were under TORNADO warnings for Pete's sake. And it stormed all night. Today the wind was so cold (and so strong) it nearly blew my big tank of a car off the freeway.

We just planned Thing Two's birthday. It's going to be at a popular party venue, and I am happy to let the "party people" take care of it. 13 kids at once is NOT my idea of fun. Since he shares his birthday with his baby brother, we'll celebrate the next day for the baby, who will be one year old! *sniff* I can't believe my baby will be one! He's growing up so fast!

I have done parties at my own house, and aftewards I wanted to take a long vacation. So we're letting the "professionals" do what they do best. I've got enough on my plate as it is.

I hope it warms up again--apparently we could get SNOW on Tuesday--can I tell you all how thrilling that sounds?

Yeah, I'm being a smart A**.

Have a good weekend everyone!

HAIRY Soccer Mom???

Okay, seriously, I have had a LOT of hits with searches using the phrase "Hairy Soccer Mom." If you are one of those people, I am NOT hairy, and you're in the wrong place. I'm also not a "Hot Soccer Mom" (only in late July, har har har) and I'm certainly not a naughty Soccer Mom.

Move it along, Pervs.....there's nothing here for you.

I've Been Sentenced...

...to at least 18 more years of nagging. Yes, I'm officially a NAG. But that's only because my kids are...well...typical kids. I hope. I'm doomed to nag them, literally hundreds of times a day:

Put away your soccer stuff! Does your shirt go there? Did you brush your teeth? Finish your vegetables! Hang up your clothes. Put your shoes where they belong. Empty the garbage. Did you do the dishes? Is your homework done? Did you brush your hair? Did you finish your report? Call me if you leave (insert kid name here)'s house and go somewhere else. Sit up straight, you look like The Hunchback. Take your vitamins. Throw your cups away after you get a drink. Wash your hands. Lift up the toilet seat when you pee. Put your backpack where it belongs. Wash your hair this time. Leave the baby alone. Stop kissing the baby. Stop hugging the baby, he thinks he's getting attacked...yadda yadda yadda yadda.

I'm tired of nagging. And with four kids, I've been sentenced to many long years of it. Why can't kids just do what we tell them to do, the first time around? Why can't we give them multiple instructions, and have them follow them? Why can't they turn off TVs and lights and flush toilets?

Or is it just my kids, and I've failed somehow?

Overwhelmed.

Status: Resisting the urge to go sit in a corner and rock back and forth...while humming...

It's getting a "little" crazy for me. Softball has started now, and so we have THAT on Mon, Wed and Friday, and Soccer on Tues, Thurs and Saturdays. No more "break" days. Go go go. That's what I do.

When Tennis and swimming lessons start up I'll be ready for the rubber room. And I feel physical pain now, when I fill up at the pump. 28 gallons at $3.70--twice a week--well, you can do the math. Unfortunately with the number of kids I have, we NEED the big car. UGH.

Yesterday was crazy. Apointments and craziness all day long. The baby was a trooper through it, but I have discovered a new version of Hell: being stuck in traffic with two 9 and 7-year old boys in the backseat who are trying to see who can make the best farting noises with their armpits.

THAT is hell, for sure.

Today is more of the same. Half day at school, followed by dentist appointments, then off to soccer. I need to fit a weight workout in there somewhere, too.

Well, sitting at this desk isn't getting me anywhere. Off I go! One of these days, I'll be able to breathe. Not any time soon.

Bits and Pieces

Status: Happy. Warm weather rules!!!

Not looking forward to today. I'm not a "confrontational" person, and I'm ambushing our landscaper. His team installed black edging around all our flower beds last summer, and most of it has popped up already. We've done edging before. Usually it takes a few years for it to pop up. It hasn't even been ONE year. His team did shoddy workmanship, bottom line, and we paid good money. He needs to make it right. I just wish HUBBY was the one meeting with him later. Hubby is good at this kind of thing. I am certainly not. Although as I get older, I get braver and more assertive with people who don't deliver.

Lots of chauffering today. I am going to take the Alphasmart to soccer practices, I have a story idea percolating. It's like nothing I've ever considered. It's a little twisted. It's NOT Young Adult. The material would definitely be "reader discretion advised." I think I've watched too many CSI shows, because this idea won't go away. Hmmmm...maybe if I ignore it...

I'm mad at Thing Two. He's known about a project he needs to do for a while, and has he done anything about it? NO. I told him I'd help him with it, but for Pete's sake I didn't tell him I'd DO IT FOR HIM. So I will "help" him tonight but if it doesn't get done, he can just be embarrassed at school. I'm not going to break my neck to do it for him. (Can you tell I have before? ;-)

Live and learn.

It was so beautiful out yesterday, I cleaned off the jogging stroller and put air in the tires, and the baby and I went! I did three miles, but at the end my foot was KILLING me. I still haven't gotten the right orthotics for my metatarsal problem, so I need to do that before I do any more speed walking. I just hate how expensive custom orthotics are. An arm and a leg. Maybe I could give them my foot, and that would eradicate the problem??

But the baby LOVED being outside. He jibbered and jabbered the entire time, and was FASCINATED by my water bottle. I love it when they're this age. So easily pleased by so little. :-)

Time to rassle up some breakfast!

Soccer Craziness (Weekend Recap)

Status: Cleaning toilets today. Grumpy.

Saturday was Hubby and my TWELFTH Anniversary. Happy Anniversary to us! The morning was a bright and early start at 6:30-- Thing Three had his first soccer game at 8am across town (why are the early ones always ACROSS TOWN??? GEESH!) and he had his oatmeal and juice and got suited up. I only got lost once getting to the field (GO ME!!) but we got there ten minutes early. He was in the starting play, and they quickly scored a goal. Then, the other team scored two goals, so we were all chewing our nails. (Thing Three's team was undefeated last season.)

THEN, as Thing Three dribbled down to the opposing team's goal, and was about to kick it in, their defense (a large kid) kicked the ball as hard as he could...right into my son's face. Everyone in the crowd gasped (I froze) but then suddenly cheered...because apparently when the ball ricocheted off my poor son's face, it went into the goal.

So, he scored a goal with his face. Nice, huh?

He has a nasty cut and bruise on his left eye, but he's pretty proud of them. And I'm pleased to say he scored the next goal, tying up the game. It ended up a tie. Go Thing Three!

Then we ran home, and I got Thing One, and took her to HER soccer game, which thankfully was down the street at their practice field. She had some awesome key passes and played VERY well, and they won 3-0. Yay!

You're probably wondering where Hubby was in all this? Laying at home with laryngitis and a headache. From shouting through all his business dinners in the loud restaurants and clubs of New York for a week. ;-)

So, he watched the baby and kids. Then we worked out, and got ready for our date, because it was our Anniversary, remember. I got dressed up in my new outfit I'd bought for the occasion (I haven't bought new clothes in AGES) and the sitter came over at 5:30, and we set off for the Capitol Grille downtown. It was amazing. As soon as the valet took our car, the manager of the restaurant was outside and greeted us (they know Hubby well, he has all his business dinners, lunches, etc. there) and when I walked inside, the hostesses greeted me by name. It was pretty neat. They escorted us to a private candle-lit booth where they had fresh flowers (they'd gotten them just for me, I got to take them home!) and they'd lit little candles all over and sprinkled metal "Happy Anniversary" decorations on the white tablecloth. It was all very special and neat. Hubby had his usual person wait on us, and we dined on steak and lobster, asparagus, mushrooms, crab cakes, Caprese salad, and much more. We were STUFFED by the end, and it was very romantic and fun, and people kept stopping to talk to us. We were treated like Rock Stars. It was awesome! And they gave us a dessert selection, including a to-die-for cheesecake with a creme brulee top. It was different, but YUM.

Then we took off for the movie theatre, and watched "Forbidden Kingdom," and giggled most of the way through it. (Hey, there was a lack of options! We'd already seen the good movies, like "21".) But it was good entertainment.

So it was a wonderful night, and I felt very special. And Hubby got me an ENORMOUS vase of pink and cream roses. Our entire first floor smells like them now. It's heavenly.

Of course Sunday, Hubby and I got in an argument, over something silly. Isn't that how marriage goes? ;-) But we've made up, and Sunday was a relaxing day.

And GET THIS, it was SEVENTY TWO DEGREES outside, and SUNNY. I nearly died from shock. And it's supposed to be the same today! Hold me back!

*Sigh* Now it's back to normal--time to run around!

Too Tired.

Well, folks, four nights of less than four hours of sleep have finally caught up to me. The party's over. (Not like I was partying, I just "can't sleep" when Hubby travels.)

I spent most of yesterday doing heavy housecleaning, THEN the personal trainer came over at 7:30 and kicked my butt for an hour, THEN I couldn't fall asleep again.

I'm too tired to blog about anything. I need to recuperate. Have a good weekend.

Lara

Introspection.

Status: Feeling Mellow. Surfing the Chaos.

I've come to the realization that my house is in a constant state of chaos. Good chaos, but chaos just the same. When I wake the kiddos up in the morning, it's a chaotic flurry of eating breakfast, getting dressed, getting told to get something else on that actually matches, getting re-dressed, shuffling papers and backpacks and lunches and jackets, and then WHOOSH, off to the schoolbus stop they go.

Then the day is pretty quiet for the next seven and a half hours, because it's just me and the baby. Unless, of course, I have to rush around, and THEN, it's chaos.

Then the kids come home from school, and HOLY CHAOS. They're all talking at once to tell me about their day (or tattling on each other: "Mom, guess what so-and-so did on the bus!") and simultaneously mauling the baby with kisses and hugs and there's a rush to get snacks and get papers out of backpacks and check assignment notebooks and do homework.

Then I start yelling for them to get all their crap out of the mud room and hang it up, pick up their school stuff, put their shoes and jackets away, yadda yadda yadda. THEN there's the mad rush to get soccer gear on ("WHY CAN'T YOU PUT YOUR CLEATS WHERE THEY BELONG!!! START LOOKING FOR THEM!!!" And to another kid: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN ONLY FIND 'ONE' SHIN GUARD???!!! IF YOU MAKE US LATE FOR PRACTICE, SO HELP ME...")

THEN it's a rush to get them to practice, and a rush to get stuff done WHILE they're at practice, and then a rush to collect them and take them home. WHEW. Luckily, things get pretty quiet after that. Dinnner is usually nice and quiet. But don't get me started on Bedtime Chaos.

And don't get me started on how much I'll miss it someday when I have an empty house.

*sigh*

The Neverending Closet.

Status: I stayed up until 2am, and woke up at six. Just a *little* Grumpy. (And thanks, Laura, for the concern. We actually "survived" yesterday. :-)

Okay, you've all seen "Neverending Story." Well, down in my office, I have the "Neverending Closet." I'm sure you all have at least ONE of these...the closet that serves as a catch-all, where you put all the stuff that doesn't truly have a place, and if you're in a hurry to tidy up, you kinda "toss" stuff in there...

No? Okay, I guess I'm the only one, then.

*ahem* This closet is HUGE. It's a walk-in (the office was meant to be a sixth bedroom) and it's shelved out with enormous deep shelves. After the moving guys brought all the stuff in from the truck, if there was a box I wasn't sure where to put, we put it in the office closet.

Over the last year and a half I've attempted to clean it out several times. It's like the Two-Headed Hydra Monster--you know, the one where you whack off one head and three more heads grow back in it's place. Yep, that's my office closet.

So, last night, at 10pm, I got The Bug. The "I-want-to-de-junk-the-office-closet" Bug. I armed myself with large black trash bags. I armed myself with plastic tubs to "sort" stuff. I even plugged in the big Shredder.

At 2am, I gave up. My office looks like it was hit by a Level 3 Tornado, but the CLOSET IS EMPTY.

So, the issue is what to do with all the *&*#!$$!! I pulled out of it.

That will be another half-day project. I am sorely tempted to do what I have done in the past--get 50% of the way there, and get frustrated and just pile everything back in. But not this time. I WILL perservere. I WILL de-junk the Infernal Closet!!!

Pray for me.

Hey, it's Wednesday! No after-school sports today! Woo! Am I bad that I am feeling mildly celebratorial over that?

Let the Chaos Begin...

Status: Just a little busy...

Okay, it's supposed to be nearly 70 degrees today. THAT SUCKS!!! Why does it suck? Think about it. At 70 degrees, my tulips and shrubs will be tricked into thinking "Oh, we can poke up and start blooming now...whoopee!" and THEN, tomorrow or the next day it will be 22 degrees again and everything will be murdered by the cold and frost.

You see my logic? Spoken like a true, bitter Wisconsinite.

Eh. But Soccer officially starts today. I've gotten a flood of emails, mostly tentative and in the vein of "It looks like Mother Nature is cutting us a break, so we're having practice today," etc. etc.. My kids are so excited it's palpable. You can cut the excitement with a knife. They've been waiting for this for...well...a LONG time.

I have armed myself (and stocked my car) with drinks, snacks, first aid kit, soccer balls, blankets and nylon folding chairs. We are READY. Let Soccer Season begin!!!

Okay, so I drove to FOUR TJ Maxx's yesterday, and wasted an entire tank of gasoline. I didn't find the baby's identical blanket (well, I did, but of course it was PINK only) but I found one that was just a tad lighter, more of a "cable" chenille knit, but it passed the "cuddle" test. He loved it. So I bought four of them. No, it's really not excessive. They'll be in shreds by the time he's three. I'm going to rotate them.

Time to eat breakfast! Poor Thing One. She's got a busy day. Book club after school until 5pm, then soccer practice from 5:30 to 6:30, then Church activities from 7-8 (6:30 to 7 we'll be DRIVING to the church which is literally in B.F.E) and she'll be collapsing into bed at 9pm. She'll be a cranky little toerag if I don't put her to bed immediately when we get home.

But don't worry about me. I just have visiting teaching, swimming lessons, book club pickup, two soccer practices and church activities and Cub Scouts tonight. A light day, if you will.

*wink*

Those #!$**!! Doctor's Office Toys!!!

Status: Hurriedlytypingthispostbecausethebabyisdownforanap...

Okay, so I thought the baby was cutting a molar. Turns out, he's just got a puffy...well...something, growing in the flesh of his gums. It could just be swelling from a tooth, but it's really big, so I'm taking him to the Doctor this afternoon.

UGH. I detest the Doctor's office. Why? Because, when I take my perfectly healthy kids there for their well-checkups, they always want to play with the toys. I'm sure you see where I'm going with this...

Since I'm not a doctor, or even a Dr's office assistant, I have no idea how often they clean or sterilize the toys in their offices. All I know, is I bet you could overthrow RUSSIA with the amount of bacteria dwelling on said toys. It's a disgusting thought. All those kids with Strep/Bronchitis/Pinkeye-aka-Conjunctivitis/colds/flu/viral infections/etc/etc/etc are PLAYING WITH THE TOYS ALL DAY LONG AND NOW MY KIDS WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM.

And I don't want to be a mean mom and say "no," but when I have to take all my healthy kids along, I just don't want them getting sick from playing with the toys. I had a Dr. tell me once that they use the strongest germ killing cleaners in Hospitals and offices, so you just KNOW that if there are germs, they are the SUPER GERMS that can withstand those sorts of cleaners. Nice thought, eh?

Oh well. Now that my kids are older I just tell them "no" firmly and that's it. End of story.

Speaking of doctors...I was up late last night goofing off on the internet, and I started googling all the people I knew growing up. I found that my high school crush is now a cinematographer in L.A., and one of my childhood friends is now a Chiropractor! You can find his website here. If you're in the Liberty Lake, Washington area, and need a Chiroprator, he's your man. Go, Aaron!!

Oh, and I am SO EXCITED. I tracked down the place that sells more of Thing Four's baby blankets! They apparently have them at TJ Maxx. I am running there this morning--wish me luck! I can only imagine the drama that will ensue once the "night night" gets shredded in the washing machine! EEK!

I Know My Kids' Names...Really...

Status: Feeling Relaxed. Of course it's Sunday. On Monday, ask me again...

Okay, I NEVER thought this would happen to me. I mean, I'm ME, not some forgetful type who gets lost in her own house. But with each child we add to the family, it gets worse and worse.

What am I talking about? Any woman with multiple children will know...how difficult it is to get the names of your children right.

I know my childrens' social security numbers by heart. I can rattle off their birthdays, birth weights, time of day they were born, and I can tell you a million things about each of them, including a detailed physical description.

Yet, I can't get their names right.

I would think it's in direct proportion to the gray hairs I've been plucking out lately, but it's been going on for a while. I think it's related to my stress/anger level. My kids have told me they know I'm REALLY mad--when I can't get their names right. Here's an example (not using their real names):

ME: Harry! I mean Jim!

DAVID: I'm Dave, mom.

ME: Whatever your name is, stop strangling your brother and get over here right now!

HIGHLY embarrassing. Then of course there's the Futile Guessing Name Game:

ME: HarryDaveJim!! Stop it!!!

But of course the MOST embarrassing, is when I make a hybrid of their names. I'll use half of one name and half of the other, or I'll use the first letter of one name and the rest of another, and it's just plain frustrating. I'll have a "Javid" or a "Dim" or a "DaJiHarry" or something like that. Don't even get me started about trying to yell at my daughter and getting her name mixed up with one of her brothers...

Is it just me? I'm hoping not.

Yeah, I'm Angry.

Okay, those of you who read my blog know that I like to “keep it light.” I don’t normally indulge in political or religious posts, but I feel strongly about this topic, and I need to put this “out there.” You’ll just have to humor my moment of indulgence, I’ll be back to normal soon, I promise.

I’m sure many of you have been following the horrific story about the Polygamist compound in El Dorado, Texas the last few days. It is certainly a tragedy.

I am a respecter of religions, but NOT when they put children at risk.

My heart breaks for the many children held captive in that compound, who have lost their innocence, and their identity.

What really made me angry, though, is the name of this so-called sect: they call themselves the “Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

Folks, there is no, and I repeat NO AFFILIATION WHATSOEVER, with the real Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the Mormons. I cannot stress this enough.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is a Christian faith, with the attitude that children are to be loved and nurtured in righteous homes, and taught to be good, law-respecting citizens. Our children aren’t even encouraged to DATE, until they are 16. Our temples are sacred places where work is carried on for those who have passed away and for couples to be married for Time and Eternity. As a Mormon myself, I have been married in the Temple, and I can attest to this. LDS temples are places of peace and tranquility, where members reflect and serve.

These so-called FUNDAMENTALISTS had rooms in their “temples” where underage children were violated. I won’t even list the other atrocities here. It sickens me to read the reports.

There is simply no correlation between the Mormon Church, and these Texas-based fundamentalists. Mormons DO NOT practice polygamy, either, by the way. I would encourage all LDS bloggers to proclaim the same, in their blogs.

My heart goes out to these Texas victims, and their families. Hopefully the criminals who violated and ruined their lives will be brought to justice.

Rain is Depressing.

Status: Feeling just...quiet.

We've had days of rain now. All the soccer practices are cancelled, because apparently you could sail a yacht on the soccer fields. All Saturday's games are cancelled too, because we're supposed to have rain for the next week straight.

You know, after it snowed, at least the SUN came out. There hasn't been any sun. It's depressing. The sun tried to peek through a couple of times yesterday, but the clouds weren't having any of it. I remember a few years back, where we had 28 days straight of rain, in the month of May. I'm wondering if this is how it's going down THIS Spring...

I got some writing in last night, but I was so tired I had to call it quits. I literally fall into bed these days. Lack of sun makes me tired. Everything seems...blah. Does that make sense?

Bought Libba Bray's The Sweet Far Thing the other day. I'm salivating to read it, but I'm waiting until late May--because I have an entire day of flying (two connections) to get home from my sister's wedding, because we used free miles. So Thing One (who is a junior bridesmaid) and I will defintely need our Ipods and reading material. The flight there is only six hours of traveling, but the flight back is something like ELEVEN hours. (Hey, it's free, can't complain.)

Well, Mount Vesuvius in the Laundry room is calling my name. Time to separate by color and start washing! I am anal about the laundry. I have darks, light blues and grays, reds, pinks, greens, whites, light browns, dark browns, and THEN I sort all the towels and sheets by color.

Yep, anal. But our clothes look FANTASTIC.

If I do say so myself.

The World is Ending...

Status: Feeling pretty good! Well, it's raining and my foot hurts. I guess rain and my foot will be "connected" from now on?

Hubby had a nice birthday yesterday. The kids made a big banner for him, and when he got home we had the table set, and the lights off, and dinner in the warming oven (I made all sorts of Chinese food) and we jumped out and surprised him. Then we had dinner, presents and cake, and the kids were bouncing off the walls by the time it was all over.

If I ever write a book about my experiences with Parenthood, it will be titled:

"I'm only Human...and I've given birth to Chimpanzees."

Nice ring to it, I think. Considering my kids act like chimps most of the time. Of course I'm kidding, but you know. Maybe I'm not...

Okay, so the World is ending. My comfortable world as I know it. The baby CRAWLED last night. He's been "scooting" around (mostly backwards) for a while, and THEN, last night, he decided to get up on all fours and actually crawl. Now, that's all he does. You put him on the floor, and he's not content to sit. He wants to crawl, and stretch his legs, and roll, and discover where he can go. Mostly he wants to go and play with the FUN-LOOKING electrical cords underneath the side table, and he especially loves to crawl to the potted plants and "play" with the leaves. He's eyeballing the curtains as I type this. I can almost see the little wheels in his head turning...

STRESS.

My life, as I knew it, is over. Now I get to chase after a nearly one-year old all day! He is eleven months tomorrow, and he is delayed from being in a harness for four months, so technically, I should have been doing this earlier. I'm just glad he's moving around normally. He's healthy, and that's all I care about.

Except I wish he stayed in one place still! EEEK!

Soccer was cancelled yesterday. It rained all day. It rained all night. It's supposed to rain today, and tomorrow and the next day. Anything's better than snow. Isn't it?

And, Maybe Not...

Status: Tired. Okay, when am I *not* tired? Seriously? I think I will spend at least half of my natural life tired. Until my kids leave the house. And then I'll be tired from all the sleepless nights worrying about them, out in the wide world. So, yeah, I'm tired.

Soccer practices were supposed to start today. But apparently we're getting a good storm passing through. So, maybe not. Which is interesting-- since all their first games are Saturday, and they haven't even had a practice in, yet. But the waterlogged fields are actually LAKES from all the melted snow. Can't play soccer in a lake. A little mud, yes, but a lake, no. Lakes are for waterskiing and boating. Not soccer.

Today is Hubby's birthday. I already ran to Target and got some fun things for him. I made a super AWESOME picture frame for his work, and I'm printing a pic of the kids for him that I took at Easter. So he can have a nice picture for his desk. And of course he'll get balloons at work. So now I'm off to bake a cake, which will be semi-torture because I'm on a new diet that cuts out all sugar and white flour (and GUESS what a cake is made of? WAH!) and clean the house.

I need to wake up. I've been depending heavily on Cherry Coke Zero. I think I might be addicted to that stuff. I hate the taste of diet, and so what do the minions at Coke do? Make a diet that tastes only "sorta" diet. Minions. They know I'll crave it and want it all the time.

And of course I need it, because I'm tired. Bad Lara.

Ants-In-The-Pants.

Status: Feeling pretty good! The sun is out!

Had a quiet weekend. The baby's cold is getting a little better--although I went to get him from a nap yesterday and he had a big green booger in his pincher fingers and was playing with it like it was the coolest toy in the world. Sort of like how a kid plays with silly putty. He must have thought it was really cool that he'd pulled it from his own nose. And he smiled when he saw me and of course, held it out to give to me.

YUCK.

I have a sad confession to make. I had my first three kids SO close together, I was in a constant Harried state, and was so busy waiting on them and taking care of them and keeping them from getting into everything and accidentally killing themselves and feeding them and changing them and yadda yadda yadda, I never really got to enjoy them as much. Is that terrible?

With this baby, I can actually enjoy all of his little accomplishments and phases. I see his big blue eyes light up when he sees someone he loves, and he stretches out his arms and wiggles his little fat fingers--I see him make conscious choices when he peruses his toy box and finds a toy, I see him starting to whisper words like "ball" and "dog" when he sees them. I love playing with his chubby thighs and zerberting his tummy, and listening to him giggle when I tickle him. Babies are just so...enjoyable. I guess when you have them "one at a time" they can be!

This is just a sad post. I am sad because I missed out on those little "sigh" moments with the others. I didn't get to enjoy them as much as Thing Four. I worked 60-hour workweeks with the first two, and even though I got to stay home with the third one, I was always running, trying to keep the other two in check. Sure, I had my "moments" but I never got to S-L-O-W down and truly "enjoy" them.

And I thought of getting older (my birthday is next month, and hubby's is this month, and we're getting "up there") and I thought how sad I will be when the babies are gone. I love my kiddos, but there's nothing like a bouncy baby. They're just...FUN!

On a different note--I have ants in my pants. I want Spring to be HERE!!!

Soccer starts tomorrow, and this time around, we only have two kids in soccer. And as Providence would have it, they both have practices on identical days of the week, at the SAME time. Do you know how wonderful that is??? No more running and dropping one kid off, then RUSHINGLIKEMAD to the next field and dropping the other kid off, then waiting for half an hour and taking the third kid back to the first field, then rushing to pick up the other one, then the next one,and so on, FOUR days a week.

This time it's two days a week, same times, same field, and games on Saturdays. My only complaint this time around is it seems Thing Three has EVERY single game at 8am. Which means to coordinate with the baby and breakfast and all that jazz we'll be up at 6am every Saturday morning.

Oh well, all in the name of sports. Thing Two opted not to do soccer. It just isn't his "thing." We're letting him do Tennis and swimming instead.

Time to get going...happy Monday!

"Houston, We Have a Linus..."

Status: Sleep deprived yet again. I think the baby might have an ear infection now. He was moaning in the night...

Okay, so when Thing Four (aka The Baby) was born, we got a chenille-knit baby blue blanket. It is very soft and cuddly, and the baby has really taken to it lately. So much so, that he is NOT to be without it.

Well, as you can imagine, the blanket gets very dirty. Especially after yesterday, when the baby used it numerous times to "wipe his snotty nose" and chew on, etc. etc.

So I figured out an attack plan. Once he was asleep, I'd trade out blankets and wash it really quick, and replace it right before I went to bed. Good plan, right?

WRONG.

Just before ten, I did "Operation Blanket Swap" and it was successful. I threw it in the wash with a ton of other baby clothes, and started the wash. About ten minutes in, I thought I heard something, so I walked to the foot of the stairs, and to my chagrin, it was the baby, crying like his heart was broken. I ran upstairs and he was inconsolable, he was in his crib, crying (not screaming) like he'd just lost his best friend. Apparently he'd woken up and realized his beloved "night night" was gone. In fact, he'd cried himself into little spots on his face. I felt horrible. I gathered him in my arms and cuddled him, until he closed his eyes, but as soon as I tried to lay him down, he started crying again.

One thing about the baby, he rarely cries. He is usually very happy. So when he does cry, it breaks my heart. So I took him downstairs, and Hubby and I took turns holding him for the next 40 minutes while the wash and drying process finished. He was sooooo beyond sleepy. I grabbed the blanket out (it was still damp but he was upset) and as soon as he saw it he smiled and clapped his hands and went immediately to sleep.

WHEW.

But the blanket was still damp. So I waited fifteen minutes, until I was sure he was out cold, and swapped out the blanket again. Luckily, he was so gone he didn't notice, and I replaced it fifteen minutes later, all warm and dry.

We have a Linus. (For those of you who have lived under a rock for 30 years--"Linus" is a character from the Charlie Brown cartoon, who is always dragging his blanket around. He's never without it.) I just hope I can find another one of those blankets somewhere. I don't know what brand it is, it's one of those "boutique" blankets that doesn't have a brand or label, but it DOES have a UPC code on the tag. So we'll see if I can track another one down. Wish me luck!

I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend. I think Spring might actually be finally "springing" here in freaking cold Wisconsin! Woo!

The Sickie-Go-Round...

Status: Barely alive. Was up all night with fever-y, sniffly baby...

The one thing I detest about sickness in our house, is that once it's introduced, it takes FOREVER to weed it out. And because none of us ever get sick at once, someone goes down one week, and the next week another family member gets it, and the next week and so on, until by the time the last family member FINALLY gets sick, the virus/germ/whatever has mutated to the point where it's completely new and we get all sick all over again.

So at the first Exposure, I become Mom The Germaphobe Germfighter. I change sheets and toothbrushes, I Lysol everything to death, quarrantine people, etc. etc. Anything to get us all better and get the germs OUT.

Last time we were all sick for two months straight. We've enjoyed a fairly healthy run of one and a half months. Hopefully it will be a couple of weeks and we'll be back to normal. I am getting "sick" of the Sickie-Go-Round. But it is inevitable. My kids go to public school. My husband works in an office with other workaholics who come to work sick. The weather here is hot/cold/hot/cold/cold/warm/cold/cold/cold/warm/cold and well, you get the point.

We're doomed. :-D

Trouble.

Status: Sniffly. The baby and I got stuffy noses from being out in the rain two days ago. Darn it!

Well, I'm officially in trouble. The baby is mobile. He's not crawling yet, but he's "scooting." I'll sit him down in one place with toys, and I'll turn around and he'll be three feet from where I sat him. He'll be eleven months next week. He's a little delayed, because of being in the harness for four months. But he's study and strong now!

Time to babyproof the house! I told the boys I'd give them a day to get every Lego they own into their room, where they will stay. If I find any Legos on the floor in any room after the "Day of Gathering," I will throw them away. And I mean it. Into the garbage it will go. I won't care if it's a "vital piece of the Star Wars ship." It will be gonzo. I've already rescued the baby from choking on one of their checkers, so I'm done with small toys.

Luckily I believe in playpens. For my own sanity. Once he's truly mobile, I will use it. My SIL is adamantly against playpens. She was complaining the other night about how her crawler was into EVERYTHING and she had to pull all the curtains up, the cords, the knick-knacks, and basically alter her entire way of living. But she won't hear of a playpen. I call it "Self-inflicted Misery." She's nuts--and I don't mean crazy. She's constantly nuts, trying to get stuff done and keep him out of everything.

I don't see anything wrong with playpens. Playpens teach kids how to entertain themselves. Of course they're not for the child to be left in for hours at a time, but if one needs to get something done, and the baby needs to be "safe" then a playpen is ideal.

I'm gearing up to get writing again. I miss it. I miss the flow of words, and the churning of my brain. I miss being "in the Zone." I miss feeling...accomplished.

And now I'd better eat something before I collapse. Lots of Orange Juice!

Murphy's Law Day.

Status: Enjoying the calm before the storm...for now. Soccer starts up next week.

Had a "Murphy's Law" day yesterday. It was raining. And I don't mean a light drizzle. I'm talking fishhooks and hammer handles.

Thing One had her annual eye dr. appointment across town, so I packed her and the baby and our assorted stuff into the car and we drove 1/2 an hour, and the rain was actually pretty light. I parked the car in the only parking space available at the office complex, which was probably the FARTHEST from the entrance door.

As soon as I killed the motor and got out to undo the stroller, the rain decided to become a WHOOSH downpour. Luckily I had the back door up so I could take refuge underneath it somewhat, but THEN the baby's carseat belt wouldn't cooperate and I got a liberal soaking while I was trying to get him out of the seat. THEN I ran to the building with Thing One trailing behind me, and of course she got the stroller wheels STUCK on a parking block and couldn't move so I had to run out and save her and we were all sopping wet by the time we got inside.

Luckily we were early so I went to the bathroom and dried the stroller and baby off with paper towels. I'm just glad his coat shed the rain, and he was dry.

The Dr. was running behind, the waiting room was filled with crying babies, and she decided to dilate Thing One's eyes (after 50 minutes of waiting) and a half hour later, we were finally finished. The baby was beyond tired from lack of a nap, and Thing One was whining about the light being too bright, everything being fuzzy, etc. etc. and the BEST PART was as soon as we got to the parking lot again, the light drizzle became a WHOOSH downpour. Yes. Right at the moment we wanted to run out into it. Murphy's Law.

We stood under the awning, waiting for the rain to lighten up, but in only got worse. Finally, we just made a run for it. We got soaked again. But I'm glad we went for it because the rain stayed steady until we got home.

It was like someone Upstairs was watching us, and every time we needed to step outside, they pushed the "Torrential Downpour Button" or something. I was not amused.

On the writing front, the Muse has left. I am struggling with the subplot, because the main plot doesn't make up enough material. Granted, I am excited to write the rest of it, but I need to write the "gratuitous teen material" first, before I get to the exciting History part. I know, I know. I just need to start writing and see where it takes me. I will do that...and soon.

Right now I have to wrestle an eleven-month octopus into his coat so we can go and buy diapers...he's down to 2 left and frankly, that's a FRIGHTENING thing...