The Week in a Nutshell...

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “You can’t polish a Turd.”—Grandpa

I’ve been busy busy busy. I’ve neglected a lot of my writing, but I’ll sum up what’s been happening in the last week:

* I finally got a score of 250 on the Harry Potter Wizard Challenge during my daughter’s soccer practice. Go Me.
* I went on a kick and bought myself ink, parchment, dip pens and sealing wax (and a seal with my first initial L) so I could write old-fashioned letters to people who would actually care. Like my mom and sister. Let’s see if I find the time to do it…

* Latest spoils from Half Price Books:
INCA GOLD, by Clive Cussler (for Hubby)
DAILY LIFE IN THE VICTORIAN AGE (Reader’s Digest)
HENRY VIII by Robert Lacey
THE EDWARDIANS by Paul Thompson
AN EDWARDIAN CHILDHOOD by Jane Pettigrew
JANE AUSTEN’S WORLD by Maggie Lane

* Today is also Thing Two’s birthday. HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY THING TWO!

* Also I discovered that my dog likes to eat Rabbit Turds. And those pesky rabbits ate all the leaves off one of my Burning Bushes, God love ‘em. Thankfully it was in the backyard, and not the front yard.

* My Korean Spice Bushes and Lilacs are in bloom. YAY! I could smell them all day long!

* I really, really REALLY suck at Calligraphy. And I sprayed black ink all over my favorite white blouse.

* I have discovered that spread-out scrapbooking carnage and Dinner on the same table are NOT compatible. (Mom, Thing One is chewing on your Vellum!)

* And again (yes, AGAIN), I’m stuck again on my novel. Arrrgghh! My daughter said I sound like a pirate when I do that. I don’t give a flip. AARRRRRGGGHHHH!! I want my muse back! Fickle little thing…

* And finally, WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Like, we ALL know that the initial “meeting” in his office went something like this:

Tom: Hey, I’ve had a great, really great idea.
Katie: What’s that, Mr. Cruise?
Tom: Let’s generate some publicity, and pretend we’re BIG TIME enamored of each other. You know, a Demi/Ashton thing. We’ll be on every major magazine cover, and people will turn out in droves to see our companion blockbuster movies that come out this summer.
Katie: Oh, so this would be business?
Tom: Yes it would. A very LUCRATIVE business. You game?
Katie: Do I kiss you in private?
Tom: I’d prefer only to kiss in public. And only if there’s a camera around. I’ve worked out a contract. It lists the obligations, rules, and of course, the termination agreement.
Katie: Termination agreement?
Tom: Yes, so we can attach ourselves to other more desirable stars when our other movies come out.
Katie: But, Mr. Cruise?
Tom: Call me Tom.
Katie: Um, Tom? Does it bother you that you’re old enough to be my father?
Tom: Nope. People are going to wet themselves when they see us together. Guaranteed. And if you aren’t a huge star now, you will be. Just let me be in charge of everything. Leave it to me. You want to have some fun?
Katie: Where do I sign?

Gyekk.