Swimsuit Season... (ARGH!!)

Quote of the Day: "Once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall."--Eleanor Roosevelt

July is upon us, and frankly, the weather in June has been so warm here, it has hastened the advent of the season I dread the most: Swimsuit. Argh. Urgh. (Lara makes pirate noises)
The dreaded time of year I am happy to hide inside and avoid. Or else I want to wear a full-body Mumu and only have the tip of my nose poking out. I have a skinny nose, I've been told. So at least that's the part I'll show.

Granted, Swimsuit Season was over for me (indefinitely) around 1997. That’s when the Metabolism Fairy more or less thumbed her nose at me and went on to better and greener (and teenier) pastures.
So in preparation for this dreaded time of year, I have begun jogging three miles every morning, at 5:30. Hopefully by the time next month rolls around, I will not be rolling around so much and I’ll be ready for the adorable tankini set I have hanging solitarily in the very, very back of my closet.

It’s hard for a stay-home mom to stay rail thin. Unless she has excellent metabolism (I have a few friends who do, and frankly, I hate them because I have to work at looking good, and they do mostly NOTHING).
The temptations for stay-home moms are abundant. The Kitchen, for example, is the central part of the house—and we’re always passing through it, always fixing food for the kids, other adult family members, etc. The fridge calls to me. The Pantry calls to me. I’ve considered wearing earmuffs when I walk by.
Let’s just say I chew a LOT of sugarless gum these days. I am determined to be worthy of the Tankini. I can already feel myself getting stronger from the jogging, but it makes me so tired I am ready to fall over face forward by dinntertime. I just need to get my body used to it.
Bring on Swimsuit season, and be damned! I’ll be ready!

Ahem. Okay. In other news, I am happy to announce that by some miracle a spot opened up in summer Gymnastics and Thing Three was able to get into the class. She starts tonight, and she is off her head with joy. Yesterday I tallied the results for the first day of Summer Vacation:

-Number of times Things 1,2 & 3 said “I’m Bored!”—6
-Number of times they used some version of “Bored” or “Boring” in a sentence: 13
-Number of times I made them pull weeds for saying they were bored: 1 (I need to work on that!)
-Number of times Thing One asked to go swimming: 8
-Number of times I had to pull Thing Two off the Gamecube and shove him outside: 5
-Number of snacks doled out to neighborhood children: 12
-Number of times I wanted to shut myself in my room and scream: 2

Hopefully those statistics will get better, as time goes by. Gotta keep em’ busy!