Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Hair War

I have one daughter. Only one. All my other children are boys. But of course, I had the daughter first. So she's the oldest. She recently turned 11, and in the space of about TWO days she suddenly became a fashionista a 'la Gossip Girl (and I suddenly knew nothing about what was "cool") a tech-savvy computer enthusiast and a power reader, reluctant to let me "guide" her in her reading choices.

And she's only eleven. When *I* was eleven, I was reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and thinking it would be cool to be a pioneer. I had a purple sweater with pink hearts across the front of it and it was my COOLEST piece of clothing. My one ambition was to sing like "Annie" on broadway. I had a Cabbage Patch Kid, who was my prize possession. I wore jeans every day and my hair either pulled back or hanging down. Those were my two choices.

Life was so much simpler for kids, back then. Thing One stopped playing with dolls a LONG time ago. She would be mortified if she knew what I was like, at eleven. I would have been a "nerd" for sure.

She's become this contradictory monster, lately. Granted, she is a sweetheart and she loves to help out around the house and babysit her baby brother, and she's creative and funny and I love her to death, but sometimes...SOMETIMES I could seriously lock her in her room until she's 18.

Especially over the hair. OY, the hair. I swear she's bi-polar about hair. One week, she can't have the same hairdo twice, and the next week, she wants a ponytail every day. She wants to chop it off. She wants it in rollers. She wants it in a bun with a sporty headband...with a NICE outfit. EGADS!

And guess who is stuck doing her hair? ME. She has this "thing" where she is allergic to styling her own hair. I just recently sat her down and made her blow dry her own hair. I might as well have been shoving needles under her fingernails. "I'm just not as good as you, Mom!"

To which I replied: "That's why you need to do it yourself. To practice."

I had her, there, and she really loathed that I did. But what can I say? I was 100% right.

This week we've been battling the "I want it in a bun with a headband every day no matter what" syndrome.

Me: "You are NOT wearing a bun again."

Her: "MOM! All the girls are doing it! They wear their hair in buns, and they wear funky headbands. Claire wears the same headband every day, and she's the most popular girl in school!

Me: Carly has hair to her ears. I doubt she's wearing a bun and a headband. She doesn't have enough hair. So you're wrong. Not "every" girl is doing it..."

Her: "MOM! I hate having my hair down! It's static-y!"

Me: *Heavy Sigh* Go get a headband...

See? This is how I lose the Hair War. I remember having static hair in school and how much I loathed it. She preys on my sensitivity to the non-practical hairstyle. She's manipulative...

So, what happens when she actually BECOMES a teenager???


Michelle Miles said...

Oooohhhh! You are in SO much trouble!

Anonymous said...

You know, they have online styling tips, and how to's that you could show her. The styles are up to date and probably geared to her generation. Also being tech savvy, she would find it great to be taught a hair-do via computer. I'm sure there are some sites out there, I remember hearing about them in on of my fashion classes.

It could almost be a reward for her having to do her own style. Since she's so creative already, once she realizes how easy it is, maybe that would help!


Aimee said...

I've heard that fabric softener sheets help with static-y hair. Why don't you try fashioning one into a THAT would be trendy.

Anonymous said...

I think we were the last generation that was allowed to be kids at that age.

Hair is always a huge self-esteem issue, especially going into tween-teen years and it's going to keep being schizo.

I like Cassaundra's suggestion, and yes, you're 100% right that she needs to learn how to do it herself.