Thursday, June 19, 2008

I LOVE EBAY. And I'm Dumb.

First off, I LOVE Ebay. Mostly, I love selling stuff. Last night, an item I had listed was ending, and to my glee, there were two bidders having a war with each other in the last five minutes--and in the last THREE SECONDS a sniper swooped in and outbid them both. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

You gotta love it. I also love that I can get pretty much anything from my childhood on Ebay. Barbie Perfume Maker? Check. Nintendo NES? Check. Vaulted Disney DVD's? Check.

So, Ebay rocks. But I'm also dumb. Why am I dumb, you ask?

I have a handicapped sense of direction.

I'd like to think I'm at least of greater-than-average intelligence sometimes, and I am a good driver---I just have no "internal GPS system," like some people do. Take for example, LAST NIGHT.

Thing One had a softball game at a field I'd never been to. The coach emailed directions. They were quite simple: "Go on a certain highway, exit a certain exit, look for park signs, and turn left into the park."

Easy, right? Heh heh. Apparently not for someone who's DUMB. I did exactly what he'd said, I followed the directions to the letter. Of course he failed to mention how long I'd have to drive before I "saw the park signs" and I drove about five miles on the road, looking for said park.

When I finally found myself in Dairy Land, with nothing around but cows, I figured I'd gone too far. So I doubled back. I had all the kids in the car with me, and I had them all glued to the windows, looking for park signs the entire way back to the freeway. NOTHING.

I turned around again. By this time, the game had started. I had been driving for half an hour, wasting precious gas and we still hadn't found the FREAKING FIELD!!! To make matters worse, my cell phone was in one of my OTHER handbags, so I couldn't call. (One of the risks of matching your handbags to your shoes, I'm afraid.)

So, I'm embarrassed to admit, I gave up. I said "to heck with this!" (well, that's the edited version anyway) and drove home. And I emailed the coach and told him "I'm sorry, I'm dumb."

Turns out they removed the park signs for road construction, and never put them back. And I was supposed to turn off onto another road to get to the park, so it wasn't visible from the street. THAT was why I couldn't find it.

I still feel dumb.

I also had the funniest thing happen to me yesterday, while I was mowing the lawn. I was chugging along, and this little black bird swooped right in front of the riding mower. It scared me for a second, until he came back, and did it again. There were actually two birds, flying almost flat to the grass, and they were circling me while I was on the lawnmower. And every time they'd circle, they got super close to the front of the mower. Thing One, who was dragging bags of grass to the garage, was amazed too.

They were playing Chicken with the lawnmower! These two little birds! I'd never seen anything like it. They did it for about ten minutes. Flying low to the grass, swooping around and flying RIGHT in front of the path of the lawnmower.

Weird, huh?

Well, excuse me while I go and take my dumb self to the kitchen for some cereal...


Michelle Miles said...

You're not dumb and that wasn't your fault!

Those birds sound like they were trying to get a treat while you were mowing. I bet the bugs were stirred up so they were swooping in to get fresh ones while you were mowing. Whenever I mow, the birds are all over the lawn before I'm done. They love the freshly cut grass and all the bugs. :)

eBay rocks!

Anonymous said...

You're not dumb. You're NOT. They took the signs down. This is not your fault.

This is why I have Navigation in my car. And even then, it's about two years behind road construction. But without it? Totally lost. I do not attempt to find any kids' sporting event without it. Even if I know where I'm going. Just in case.

LOL on the birds. Too funny.

I love eBay, too. Which is why I'm not allowed to visit without a qualified adult present.

Unknown said...

When you are buying instead of selling on eBay, it would be a good idea to snipe auctions yourself.

As I imagine that you already know, sniping is not magic, you still have to have the highest bid to win. However, automated sniping will allow you to avoid bidding wars and, and this is probably the biggest benefit, IT CAN SAVE YOU TIME.

There's no need to be at your computer when the auction ends(just set it and forget it), and with a web-based sniping service, you don't have to leave your computer on and it does not matter if you have a PC or a Mac. is a free eBay auction sniper service that I recommend but there are other services out there.

Lynn Sinclair said...

When I first read your bird story, I wondered if they weren't protecting a nest (on the ground?), but I think the insect angle makes much more sense.

wfbdoglover said...

Imaginging your kids glued to the window was a hoot as well as the Ebay sniper.

You are not dumb, sorry for your stress and gas wasting.

As far as the birds, just based on personal experience, I think they may of had a baby near by. They did that to my dog when he was holding a baby cardnial in his mouth until I got home. My son and husband couldn't figure out what was going on and when I came home, the dog ran up to me. I opened the car door, scratched his chin and he promptly delievered this baby cardinal in the palm of my hand. He was "protecting him" Not a scratch on him and we put him in a bucket until we heard back from the humane society called us back and told us what to do.

wfbdoglover said...

not to cause any confusion. It was dusk and there are cats that run around our neighbor hood. We didn't know if the bird was hurt/fell out of the next. The humane society had us put the baby bird by some bushes and said mom and dad would push it up for the night. The babies learn to fly in a day and this one must have needed some extra time.