Monday, December 05, 2005



Now, on to other things...

I am mortified. MORTIFIED, I tell you. Why? First, let me preface this post by declaring that nothing, NOTHING like this has ever happened to me in private, let alone a public place.

Okay. So I'm at church yesterday with the family. I was dressed very nicely, and I have to say I'm hitting it off very well with the other ladies in my ward. So, at the end of church, everyone is crowded in the foyer, chatting and socializing and whatnot, and we finish our chatting and decide to head to the car.

So I'm walking down the hall with my eight-year old daughter next to me (Thing One) and my two sons in tow with Hubby leading the way. Well, we get to the most crowded part of the church, and suddenly, I feel this weird sensation around my ankles. I look down at my feet, and gasp, just as my daughter blurts out (of COURSE in a voice even louder than the rumble of the crowd): "Mom! What is that? IS THAT YOUR UNDERTHINGY???"

It was my slip. My very WHITE slip, and yes, folks, it had fallen down around my ankles.
The little voice in my head became an ear-shattering guttural scream of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and I bent down as quickly as I could, stepped out of the slip and stuffed it into my handbag.

I had three options at this point: A) Pray for a yawning chasm in the carpet to open up and swallow me whole or B) burst into tears or C) Pretend it never happened.

Naturally, I opted for C. I will say, however, that I have never seen Hubby quite that shade of pink before. I think I'll call it puce.

So, after we got into the car and sat staring for a few moments in stunned silence (yes, that really DID just happen in front of the entire congregation) I told him we could always move again and he agreed and said we'd just try and forget about it.

...Apparently "forgetting about it" involved calling up every relative Hubby had in the known universe and retelling, in dramatic fashion, the story of my unfortunate "wardrobe malfunction."

Sure, it's funny now, but it SURE wasn't funny then! Serves me right. I'll never wear a white slip with a black skirt and black stockings and shoes again. EVER.


Anonymous said...

OH, Lara, you're too funny! LOL

Lowa said...




I am only laughing at your description, not the actual event itself. I am picturing you all sitting in the vehicle staring blankly ahead, in total shock.


Well, you liked Denver and the new house while they lasted, right?? LOL

Michelle Miles said...

LOL Poor you!

This should make you feel better. When I was very young and "green" and working for an environmental engineering firm, I exited the ladies restroom not knowing my skirt was tucked into the back of my pantyhose. To my great HORROR, one of the engineers was polite enough to let me know my fashion faux pas.

Next time - live on the wild side and forego the slip altogether. ;)

Colin said...

Sorry Lara, but that's one of the funniest things I've heard in ages!! :-D

Looks like you've made on hell of an impression!