Wednesday, August 10, 2005

My Embarrassing Journals

Quote of the Day: "I always give myself such very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."--Alice, Alice In Wonderland

Wow. I was trucking along on my editing/writing of the two novels and suddenly, a few days ago: PPPPHHHHBBBBBTTTT. Nothing. Complete Standstill. Maybe I had been doing too much? Maybe I was tired of sitting at the computer and writing, rewriting, writing, rewriting, lather rinse, repeat? It's been two whole days now (today is the third) that I haven't even opened my writing folder on my computer. What is up with that? Writing Avoidance? Hmmm. At least I've been writing in my journal every day. (Heh heh, I'm going to have to burn all those things before I die...)

I've always kept a journal, since about the 7th grade. The other day on one of my writing forums, we were talking about "voice" and how a kid in their tweens would write. I went and dusted off my box of old journals, and found the very first one I had ever kept, and read through it. (let's just say I was a boy-crazy seventh-grader and leave it at that.)

I mean, talk about EMBARRASSING!!! Was I really that crazy? I think I had a crush on a different boy every month, and wrote about them with such...ANGST. And I had pictures pasted in there from magazines (it was a hoot to revisit the old "Benetton" and "Guess" and "Swatch" ads from the 80's!) and pictures, etc. Apparently then I was just as fond of writing in all caps as I am today, and I was also was suffering from a serious case of Math-itis. (As in I HATED it!) My Math teacher was an "evil troll who singles me out all the time and forces me to write Geometry equations in front of the entire class on the chalboard, and embarrasses me when I get the answer wrong, which is all the time! "(Okay, I was decidedly NOT a math whiz, but it did not help my self-esteem!)
But I LOVED my English Lit classes. I hated Phys Ed. I had very white legs (I don't tan easily) and I was embarrassed at how skinny they were. (Oh my gosh--if ONLY I had that complaint now!) People called me bean pole and Stick.

Oh well. I guess in order to write like a 12 year old, you just basically need to write with a nasally whining intonation and extensively (and painfully frequently) at length, ad nauseum, about the opposite sex. And there you go.

I mean, my journals could be dubbed "Cringe-worthy" in every sense. It wasn't until I got married that they stopped being so...ridiculous. But in truth, they started to be kinda boring. No more drama in my life. I need a little drama now and then...
...just not today. Today I need to write. I wonder if the kids will let me?


Michelle Miles said...

You crack me up.

Twins again: I was not a math whiz either. I flunked Algebra 2 and Chemistry. Hell, I barely graduated high school with my poor math and science scores! (I aced English Lit tho haha) AND I'm lily white. Tan? What's that?

Anyway, your post made me chuckle. :)

Anonymous said...

ROFL- love this post, Lara! I just came in by way of Devon's site. I've been here before but my summer became so hectic, please forgive sporadic blogging. I'm a mom w/ our 1st about to go to college (aaaaaaaaaaaack or yay! depending on our moods!) and I work more than full-time.

I,too, saved my journals from way back. I even have some entries about the boy who is now a man who is my hubba.

As for math-itis, here's a (((Lara))). I love to write and paint more than math but I also have taught math and science besides English- just am one of those both sides of the brains geeks, but a nice one. Seriously, it is so fulfilling to guide people to discovering that math IS possible. It's a great feeling for them and a natural high for me to help.

I'm not of retirement age, but I did make a career switch from the sciences back to my loves of English and art several years back. I would die if my own kids or any former students read my journals! (Oh, I'd probably laugh w/ them, too, but also be mortified.)

Ann said...

I still have flashbacks from algebra (lol). I'm so glad we didn't have to take those isteps - I might still be in highschool!

Cassaundra said...

YOU WANT DRAMA??!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!! (insert crazy/psycho laughter here)
Honey, you can HAVE all mine. Well, you know what they say, the grass is greener...