Tuesday, December 15, 2009

If You Would Indulge Me In A Little Rant...

I'm a little annoyed this morning. One of my children (who shall remain anonymous), I swear, this child needs me VELCROED to his side every morning or he'd wander off and play with his legos instead of getting dressed, brushing his teeth, packing his lunch, etc. etc..

Sure, I've complained about this on the blog before. And sure, some of you commented that I need to "let him" go to school half-ready, unprepared, so he'd learn, etc. But the truth is, he wouldn't care. This kid is the most CAREFREE kid ever. It's just not in his nature to be motivated to do anything, unless *I* threaten him with a swat on the butt (he's ten!) or priveleges taken away.

Every morning is like this. Every morning I have to yell at him to stop daydreaming/playing/piddlyfarting and GET GOING. If I wasn't on his rear end about the "timeline" for getting ready in the morning, he'd take 40 minutes to eat a bowl of oatmeal. This morning I forgot he was in the shower (I got distracted and forgot to set the timer) and he just stood in there for 25 minutes and when I realized he needed to be told to get out, he said he hadn't even washed his hair yet. And I specifically tell my kids to wash their hair FIRST THING, when they get in, and do everything else afterwards. And yes, I remind him every time, just before he gets in the shower. I was ready to tear my eyeballs out!!!

It really makes me agitated in the morning. And I feel like I'm singling him out because his other siblings are pretty responsible and self-motivated. So he probably feels picked on.

FRUSTRATION. I've tried everything. The kid has been grounded, yelled at, swatted on the rear-end, had privileges revoked, and he is usually "okay" for a day or two and then it's back to his old routine of DAYDREAMING/PIDDLYFARTING/PLAYING in the morning. It's enough to make me want to shoot to the moon. I know its the ADHD he has, but GOOD GRIEF!!!!

Sorry, I just have to rant this morning. Usually I can handle it. Not so, today. Grrrrrrrr...


Devon Ellington said...

You know what I was thinking, reading this? It seems to me he looks at the world differently. It's not that he doesn't care, but he cares differently, if that makes any sense. What really engages him? What does he do that can be encouraged?

It almost sounds mad-scientist-ish, like he's got a lot going on and the mundane world is just annoying.

Maybe hooking into whatever really fascinates him and using that as a positive reinforcement tool somehow would help. The yelling and the punishments aren't, so maybe there needs to be an approach from a different angle.

It would be easier if he was the only, and you didn't have a whole tribe to get out the door in the morning, but maybe coming around it from a different side would help?

You're always free to rant -- we're here to listen and help figure out possibilities.

Aimee said...

I know a few kids at school who do the same thing when it is time for them to get cracking on their studies. They just don't. They stare into space. The smallest thing catches their attention and holds it indefinitely. Just know you're not alone. If you figure out what works with your son, let me know and I'll pass along your suggestions.

Michelle Miles said...

I have the same problem with mine. But with him, it's not the ADHD. It's just that he's slow. And he likes to play and he doesn't understand that time is of the essense.

I like Devon's idea, though. Maybe he DOES look at the world differently? And he just needs a to be handled differently?

But then again, I have no clue. :D I have enough trouble with one.

Lee Anne said...

Devon may be on to something with the notion that he cares differently and might respond to another angle. Perhaps imagining how you would be with him if he was your only child. How would your requests and expectations of him be different? Now I realize that some of the things you will think of are not reality with 3 other kids in the picture, but it is a place to start looking for possibilites of where you can play to his strengths and possibly work around his ADD. One idea that comes to mind is, would it work to have him take his shower in the evening?