Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I Ate a Roach and I Liked I-it...

Okay, well, no, I'm lying. I guess I have that Katy Perry song in my head this morning.

Let me just say, BEWARE OF CAMPBELL'S MUSHROOM SOUP. I certainly shall, from this point forward.

It happened before vacation, and I didn't really have time to blog about it properly. If you're squeamish, turn away! Read no further!

Anyhow, I was getting ready for vacation and hardly had time to stop, so I thought I'd have a quick mushroom soup for lunch. Yeah, really nutritious, I know. So I got out a Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, and heated it up. Sipped away. Got to the bottom. I noticed there was an unusually large amount of mushrooms in the bottom, and I thought I'd hit the jackpot. (The mushrooms are the best part, you know!) So I chugged them. Yes I did. And I started chewing them up. And swallowed. And chewed again...

They tasted funny. The first clue was that they crunched. Mushrooms don't usually crunch. And they tasted smoky and bitter, and well...you know what mushrooms taste like, and it's neither of those things.

So, instinct kicked in, and I spit whatever I was chewing on into my hand. GUESS what I saw???

(drumroll, please)

A head, with two long antennae poking out in a v-shape. Yes, I ate a roach.

Have you ever had something so completely disgusting happen to you, you shudder uncontrollably and lose consciousness? No? Well, that was me. I think I screamed. I think I did an adrenaline dance. I managed to make it over to the sink and dump the head down the disposal, and rinse the bug parts out my mouth. About 093654836 times. I emailed my friends about it. Some of them asked me if I'd kept the roach head for evidence.

Well, no, unfortunately, at the time, I was NOT thinking "Oh -I'd better keep this thing so I can complain to Campbell's." It was more along the lines of HOLY SH** HOLY SH** I JUST ATE A ROACH!!!!! AAUUUUUGHHHHH! GET IT OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. I wasn't exactly "rational" when I spit it down the disposal and ran the water.

AND I got to spend the whole afternoon queasy because I knew I had roach bits in my stomach. NOT a fun thought.

And it doesn't help that I have a SERIOUS phobia with roaches. *sigh* I will never eat cream of mushroom soup again. At least...not for a while.

Happy Tuesday, all!


Michelle Miles said...


Man tells me they're allowed a certain number of "these things" in the processing plants. It makes me ill just to think about what really goes into our food.

So. Now you can chew on that. ;)

Unknown said...

Oh my gosh. I almost threw up. I despise cockroaches. I can barely stand to look at them. I'm shuddering right now just thinking about it. You poor thing!!