Monday, November 05, 2007

Expired Gravy Mix Debacle...

Status: Okay, actually. Beginning to wonder if I'll ever get a good night's sleep again, since I've been up most of the night tending sick kids! Apparently most of the kids in my town are sick, because I couldn't get Thing Three in to see the Doctor until noon. So, we wait.

So the Patriots won. Thank Heaven. For a while there, I thought they weren't going to pull it out. At the end, my kids kept asking me to stop yelling at the TV. I was texting Hubby (who was stuck in NYC at a business dinner) and giving him play-by-play results in the last 3 minutes. It was a good game. Well, in the last quarter, anyway! :-)

So, some of you asked how I get my pie crust not to burn? I have a little trick I do. I put it in the oven, and set the timer for 20 minutes. Then I take tin foil, and tear it into strips about a foot long and three inches wide. After the 20 minutes are up, I open the oven door and mold the strips of foil around the edges of the pie only (this is tricky, because you don't want to burn your forearms, I recommend pulling the rack out slightly) and then I put the pie back in and set the timer for the remaining time. Voila! It works every time. Perfectly brown crust.

I still am baffled over how the pie crust did that. Weird. Sometimes I use ready-crusts. Sometimes I make one from scratch. I've NEVER had one do that. (See previous post if you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about.)

So, Sunday Dinner is a big deal for me. Even if it's in the middle of a Football game. I always cook a nice meal. Last night was Turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans and rolls. (Hey, it's November. I'm into Turkey!) My kids love gravy on their meat and potatoes, and I didn't have enough from the turkey to make gravy, so I went downstairs to the food storage and found some poultry gravy mix. I couldn't remember when I'd bought it, so I looked at the expiration date, and it said "Best Before Jan 2008"
I made the gravy, and pre-poured it on the potatoes and meat on each plate.

I called the kids to the table (I had the Patriots game on pause downstairs) and we all sat down to eat. Prayed. Started eating. I, of course, ate my vegetables first, and my kids dug into their potatoes.
Suddenly Thing Two makes a disgusted noise and puts his fork down. He tells me the potatoes are gross. I tell him it's because he's sick, everything probably tastes gross. (my mashed potatoes are NOT gross, thank you very much!) but then Thing Three, who is usually very diplomatic, puts his fork down and starts chugging his milk. Thing One, my ten-year old daughter (who is NOT diplomatic) makes a gagging noise.

"Mom, these potatoes are disgusting!"

I look at her, mortally offended, and take a bite of potatoes.

Have you ever broken an aspirin open and tasted it? That bitter, nasty taste? Well, mix that with a little meat gravy and you had the gosh-awful taste I was experiencing. I almost spit it back out on the plate. It was HIDEOUS! I told everyone to take their plates to the kitchen counter. I ran and checked the date on the gravy again.

Here's where I felt horrible: it was very fuzzy, and upon closer inspection, to my horror, I realized it actually read "Best Before Jan. 2006"
#$^&*!*!! 2006!!!!! I had probably just poisoned my children, and myself! ARRGH!!!

The kids thought it was very funny. They drank their milk, and had their rolls, and I made mini-pizzas. Probably more fitting for a Football game anyway, right?

R.I.P Poultry Gravy...and our Sunday dinner...


Anonymous said...

I think I just fell out of my seat laughing! I am assuming no one got sick?

Michelle Miles said...

EEWWW well, at least you didn't eat it all and THEN chunk it...

Unknown said...

Well, that's what you get for using gravy from an ENVELOPE. ;)

Since I have a lot of arm hairs to consider, I put the foil on first, then pull it off for the last part of baking.

How the Pats won is beyond me. Close one!

Janey said...

The Patriots should not have won. They were outplayed. They got lucky. Yes, I'm better.

Your gravey sounded delish!

Janey said...

I meant bitter!

Lynn Sinclair said...

Food gone bad stories. Love 'em.

Many years ago, I was at my grandparents for dinner. The three of us sat down to eat our spaghetti, shaking on liberal amounts of Kraft parmesan cheese.

Chatting and laughing, I took a bite. Hmmm...crunchy. That's unusual. I took another bite. Another crunchy mouthful. I looked down at the plate--what were those black specks and why were they moving?

You know, I actually hesitated before telling them. I knew my grandmother would be mortified that there were bugs in her dinner. But, of course, I had to tell her.

The spaghetti (and the parmesan where the bugs had taken up residence) went into the garbage. I think we had sandwiches instead.

Lara said...

It wasn't an envelope! It was one of those big plastic hoo-ha's you buy at Costco!

But yeah, learned my lesson!