Welcome to Middle School Projects. **Grumble**

Can I just turn back time? Can I just say "Okay, I'm FINE with my kids being in grade school forever? Yeah, I know I can't, but I'm a whiner. I like to lament the fact my kids are growing up too fast.

Thing One, who is in Seventh grade, literally has a project a week, minimum. It's pretty gross. But I will say, all that posterboard and art stuff and paper and craft crud I have built up over the years comes in handy:

"Hey mom, do you have a tube sock?"

"Um, not since the 80's, dear."

"Okay, do you have a styrofoam ball the size of a baseball?"

"Yep."

"Do you have a wooden dowel?"

"Yep."

"How about yarn?"

"You know I do."

"Okay, how about sticky-back foam?"

"Yep. In every color."

So, it's nice to not have to run to Michael's every time she has a project. Although I did have to run to Target yesterday to buy a long white tube sock. Unfortunately, the only long white tube socks they had that didn't have stripes or grey toes came in an $8.00 pack of TEN PAIRS and now I have nine and a half pairs of frugly tube socks I have ZERO idea what to do with. So, NOTE TO TEACHERS: When you ask parents/kids to provide a long white tube sock--you are asking the impossible. NO ONE wears those anymore. Well, some people do, but not anyone in my house.

Nice.

But here's the kicker. And parents, please tell me you've heard this before:

"Hey Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me with this project?"

"What do you have to do?"

"I need to make a poster-size replica of the earth, and cut out different colored paper rings for the atmospheric layers and color and detail it.

"Sure, when is it due?"

"Oh, tomorrow."

"WHAT????!!!!!"

**Lara screams and bangs head agains wall**

THIS is what kills me. When they know about these projects for weeks and don't start working on them until the day before they're due.

Thing One has made a nasty habit of doing this, recently. So, last night, I was Mean Mom. She had two projects due today, but didn't tell me/start working on them until 3pm yesterday. And suddenly she needed me to run around and buy stuff for her and help her color/draw/paint, etc..

So, I refused. Granted, I caved at one point and helped make her Egyptian-boy sock puppet (because he looked really sad), but I drew the line at coloring in the six backgrounds and helping her with her timeline poster. I made her wake up early this morning and finish them. She asked why I wasn't helping her and I TURNED INTO MY MOTHER for a few seconds and said: "Sorry honey, but lack of preparation on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."

Yes, I said the words. I've officially said to my daughter what I HATED having said to me, as a teen. (Mom, stop that smirking.)

Man, she was NASTY after that. I was "unhelpful" and "mean." And I agreed with her. "Yes I am unhelpful and mean. I am also teaching you a lesson."

Luckily, she got it. She promised to stop the procrastination and asked me if I could get some supplies for her next project, due next week. So today I need to buy glitter gel pens (she's used up my other ones) and a pack of construction paper. Which is fine. But she'd better start on it this weekend.

I am SO not looking forward to High School projects.