Holiday Party = STRESS.

So, this Friday, Hubby is taking some of his top employees to a fancy restaurant, and they are bringing their significant others, which means *I* get to go to the party as well. This is the first time I'm meeting most of them. First impressions, and all. I'm getting my nails done that morning. I have an apppointment at the Aveda salon to get my hair and makeup done right before.

So, my stress? CLOTHES. I need an outfit. And frankly, I don't want to look dumb. Here's the problem: I don't know what people wear to parties anymore. Usually, in years past, there's been an easy look. Velvet, or satin, or something simple. These days, people accessorize to the hilt, and I'm at a loss. Do I wear boots or open-toe dressy shoes? Dress pants or dressy jeans? Layers or one great top? AUGHHH!!!!!

One of my friends is taking me shopping at Southpark tonight, and I am supposed to find a head-to-toe outfit, in TWO hours.

I am beyond stressed. This makes it ZERO fun. Usually I like shopping, but the pressure is too great.

Maybe I should have Thing Four cough in my face and I'll be too sick to go. Would that be a lame move?

*sigh*

WHEW.

Okay. Two holidays down, one more to go, this year. And we survived Thanksgiving!

It was actually a really good vacation, this time around. The food and company were superb, and I did NOT wake up the day after to go to stores. Because I value my sleep, and any deal I get on any item is countered by the insanely long line I have to stand in just to purchase said item. SO. NOT. WORTH. IT.
Besides, I worked retail for years. They mark up their items so high you just "think" you're getting a good deal, even when it goes 99% off.

ANYWAY, it's back to Business As Usual, which for me, includes Laundry (I didn't DO any last week! The horror!) housecleaning, running to Home Depot for outdoor lights because frankly we are the only house on the block who won't have any soon and we are sheep, and planning birthday and Christmas parties and rotating the Winter clothes out, and putting away the Summer clothes.

Just to name a few.

I think I need to give up on the agent search until the New year, because frankly, how many agents are going to read/take on clients after NaNo and during December, when the publishing houses basically shut down? Let's say...NONE.

Oh well. That's what I get for moving, and completely disrupting my life. ;-)

Get those groans out, people, back to the grind we go!!!

Thankful.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving day, everything was darn near perfect. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

And BYU better beat those Utes, or there will be HECK to pay!!!

The Elusive Search...

You know how sometimes you really really look forward to the Holidays, because it's that time of year you indulge in something that only happens ONCE a year? Well, I certainly feel that way.

There's nothing like a freshly trimmed Christmas tree. Or listening to Bing Crosby sing Christmas songs. Or Southern Comfort non-alcoholic egg nog. (Which is the BEST egg-nog, hands down.) Then there's Stollen. That yummy marzipan-center bread with everything good in it. I usually get those from World Market, where they have STACKS of them. But only during the Holidays. And then there's the Christmas Lights. And the gingerbread candles. And the list goes on.

But my favorite "food" thing about the Holidays, is the one thing I crave year-round: Aplets and Cotlets:
There's just something about them. You can find them here, on the Liberty Orchards Website. They're sweet and fruity Apple and Apricot walnut-y goodness. And I can never find them. Maybe that's why I like them so much. I had two places in Wisconsin I could rely on them to be around the holidays: Target and Walgreens. I know, weird, but that's where they usually were.

Then I moved to North Carolina.

Apparently, North Carolina doesn't believe in Aplets and Cotlets. Because I have searched every Target in a 20-mile radius, every Walgreens, and I have come up with nothing. I guess North Carolina is big on Christmas CHOCOLATE, but nary an Aplet or Cotlet to be seen anywhere.

I finally gave up and ordered some online this morning. Because I have to have me some. And yes, I'm completely mental.

Mental for Aplets and Cotlets!

(You can stop rolling your eyes now)

Here We Go! Buckle Up!!!

We are officially on the "Sick Coaster" as of Saturday. Thing One has escaped unscathed, but Things Two through Four all have coughing, wheezing and fevers. I think it's viral. But nevertheless, we are going to the doctor this morning. I got them in, and I want to get them on antibiotics. In case it ISN'T viral...

Hubby and I are ok so far, but who knows. I am happy to report that this is the FIRST time Thing Three (who was in the pediatric ICU for eight days last year with H1N1 and Pneumonia) has had any chest colds or problems since APRIL.

That's why I'm hoping this is just a chest cold that will go away with a little "help." I have his elephant vaporizer in his room (we call him "Trunky") and it has helped immensely. I ended up sleeping with Thing Four last night, because his bark-y cough was making him cry, but as soon as I crawled into bed with him he went to sleep--peacefully.

Hubby stayed with the kids this morning because I'm Thing Three's classroom parent and I had to take a cake into his class for his teacher's birthday. The kids were going ape**** over the cake, and they all sang "Happy Birthday" so loud I think they heard it the next county over. After they were all sugarfied, they went outside to run off their cake. I went back home to check on my sickies.

Hubby and I saw Harry Potter on Friday, and OMGosh it was amazing. The cinematography was superb, and the acting was spotless. The ending was a bit abrupt for me, but I only think it was because I was so emotionally involved in the movie, and I got "lost" in their world so easily. Jo Rowling is a genius. David Yates is a genius. It all makes for a great two and a half hours! GO. SEE. IT.

Have a good Monday everyone. I can't believe it's going to be THANKSGIVING soon!!!

This Could Get Interesting...

So, yesterday, I survived the first Class Party. Great. I go home, and suddenly, my left eye feels "weird.". So I look in the mirror, and it is sort of red. Yuck. I take out my contacts, put my antihistamine drops in, and hold a cold, wet washcloth to my eye for 15 minutes. Guess what?

Nothing. It didn't get better.

I'd taken my Claritin D 24-hour pills that morning--what was going on? By the time Hubby came home from the airport, my eye was REALLY red. And this morning, BOTH my eyes are now red, and I have sinus pressure. It's not painful, but it's there.

But I have faithfully been taking my allergy medicine!

I guess it's time to see an allergist. I think I might be allergic to a bunch of things. And I suspect one of them might be down. We have a down comforter and pillows, and it seems when I get close to them I get the red eyes. Which, frankly, doesn't make sense because we've had a down comforter for about seven years. I know, huh?
I am taking the comforter to the dry cleaners this weekend and using different pillows, so we won't have any down on our bed for a few days. I am going to see if things clear up. In the meantime, I look like I either A) am a ravenous vampire or B) have a raging case of pinkeye or C) haven't slept in 40 days and 40 nights. Outstanding.

I can't wear my contacts, so it's glasses today. I think I scared Thing Four because when he woke up he looked at me and recoiled, and said "Mom, your eyes are scary!"

*sigh*

Why me?

This Year is FLYING. Am I The Only One Who Feels This Way?

A little late blogging today, I just survived my first class party! (I'm a co-room mom and we've been preparing for weeks.) Now I can sink into a puddle of goo at my desk and have some herbal tea. And put my feet up.

NOT.

Hubby comes home tonight and I get to run around doing all the things I was too lazy to do while he was gone. Like...cleaning the house, heh heh. I would like to at least give the impression of a clean house. ;-)

I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week! We have been invited for Thanksgiving dinner at a friend's house, so this Sunday I am doing "our" Thanksgiving dinner. I didn't buy a whole turkey, just a breast, and we're going to have mashed potatoes and stuffing and fruit salad and all the stuff we like to eat every year, since it will be "different" stuff at someone else's house this year. Because I HAVE to make the stuffing I make every year. It is so to die for. MMMMMMMmmmmmmm.

Wow, I made chocolate no-bake cookies last night, and they're almost gone. Looks like my boys have had a crack at them.

The sun is out and it's a beautiful day! I love Fall!

Okay, this stream of consciousness has to end. Happy Thursday everyone!

For the Harry Potter Fans

This was brought to my attention by my kids. It totally cracked me up. Enjoy!

Insert Fabulously Witty Blog Post Title, Here.

I was a big ol' waste of space yesterday. I ran around minimally, cleaned minimally, and pretty much hung close to the house with the kiddo. He's had a low-grade fever for a couple of days and a runny nose, and now, I feel like I might be coming down with it. FUN.

Couldn't sleep last night, (Hubby is out of town) so I caught up on five episodes of FRINGE, finishing at around 1:30 am. I am tired, but I never sleep well when Hubby travels, so I figured I'd get caught up on the show. I don't think I like the whole "Olivia switching places" story arc, but hey, they have to shake things up. And I hate that she is romantically involved with Peter, because A) they have zero chemistry and B) it's better to "keep the tension alive," say, like they have successfully done in BONES. Which is another great show. Anyway, I figure I have four more shows tonight, and I'll be caught up. Hubby isn't into FRINGE, I think it's a little "Fringe" for him. Ha Ha. It can get pretty gross. But not any more gross than BONES or CSI. Hubby thinks it's too "weird" for him. Oh well. I was a ROSWELL fan, years ago--I guess I am used to weird. Then again, I think I was only a ROSWELL fan because I thought Jason Behr was hot. ROSWELL was pretty weird. ;-)

I need to be more proactive today. Maybe the damp weather just makes me feel apathetic and morose. Gotta get out of the rut!

I'm Such a Sucker

I guess I was wrong. Basketball games start on December 4th, but practices started last night. Heh heh. So, no more breaks for me. And it doesn't help the practices are 20 minutes away. Oh well. The Weddington rec plays games on Sundays, and Waxhaw rec doesn't. So, it wasn't worth it to miss more than half the games. I will say, though, now that I've started driving my kids to and from school, I'm filling up my tank 2 1/2 times a week. UGH. But it's worth it. I don't want them on that nasty middle school bus.

So why am I a sucker? I definitely am one...for British Royalty, that is. Today it was announced that "Waity Katy" finally got engaged to Prince William. Can we all say...finally?
I remember as an 11-year old (did I just date myself?) getting up at 2 am in the morning to watch Lady Diana Spencer wed Prince Charles, and I was so completely into it. You know I'll be tuning in (or at least recording) this wedding, which will probably be The Wedding of the Century. Can't help it. It's the hopeless Anglophile in me. ;-)

Today is busy. Laundry, errands, I have to bake two pumpkin pies for my daughter's church program tonight, and cut up fruit for Thing Three's class party. I loathe pumpkin pie, because of an unfortunate stomach-flu episode when I was a kid. I always make it for my family during the holidays, because THEY love it, but I can't even take one bite. Which is odd, because I love all other things pumpkin--bread, cookies, doughnuts, cupcakes, etc. I just can't handle the pie. ICK.

The leaves are really starting to turn, now. It is so beautiful outside! Still warm, and still gorgeous. North Carolina is awesome!

Yes, I Have a Sense of Direction...NOT.

Not like I like to admit any of my shortcomings, but I have literally zero sense of direction. I was always highly jealous of my friend, Aimee, growing up. She was the one who drove me around when we were in high school, and she always seemed to know where she was going. I was always...lost.

I hope I'm not the only one who hates it when people give me directions and say "go to X street and turn West." I have to have "right or left" please. Basically, if Mapquest had never been invented, I would probably be in Canada somewhere with a carload of kids begging for someone to give me directions.

I finally bought CoPilot Live, an app for my phone. Let me say it hasn't been the best. But what can you expect for $49? It crashes eight times out of ten, it freezes on me, and one funny (as in strange funny not FUNNY funny) thing about it--it never seems to work when Hubby is in the car. EVER.

So, he finally bought me a Garmin GPS unit on Saturday. I have to say, it doesn't freeze. I don't freak out when people call through or text me anymore because it "makes the app crash." Those days are past. And now, I still may be totally clueless about what direction I'm going (unless I look at my car dashboard) but at least I will know how to GET where I'm going.

Why am I so resistant to technology? I resisted making the switch from dialup to high speed. I was resistant to switching from PC to Mac. I resisted getting an iPad. And now, the Garmin. I guess I have that "I'm doing fine and it isn't broken so why fix it" attitude, which Hubby thinks needs to GO.

He may be right. Yes folks, I actually admitted it.

It's FRIDAY!!!

Not that I usually get excited about the weekends, but I like it when we do "family stuff." Tonight we're having people over for Quesadilla Night, so I had to run to Harris Teeter and get some fresh produce. I have to say, Thing Four and I love going there. He gets a free balloon, a free cookie (they have them at the entrance and I laugh when I see adults snagging a few for themselves most of the time) and they have a Starbucks--which means hot chocolate on a cold morning! (Well, hot for me, lukewarm for the three-year old!)

I am feeling pretty good. The weekend will be busy but fun. We have a soccer tournament all day Saturday. We saw "Megamind" last night because we knew we wouldn't be able to squeeze it in this weekend, and it was adorable. Seriously. Hubby and I bought tickets to Harry Potter for next Friday for "date night," I can't wait! I'm just sad it's all coming to an end. Well, Part One of the end, anyway. Hubby is re-reading Deathly Hallows, I need to skim it a little. I read it in two days way back when it came out and frankly, all I remember is a lot of camping. And an annoying book published about Dumbledore by Rita Skeeter or something like that. SAD.

This is a little crossover from the writing blog, but I got my comments back from my readers and got the edits finished up, and this morning I sent queries out to two agents! I feel great! It's good to be in the Query-go-round again. Granted, as soon as the rejections start piling up I'm sure I'll feel not-so-great, but hey, it's expected. For now, I can at least hope!

In not-so-great news, SOMEONE taught my darling innocent three year old that if he sticks up his middle finger at people, it is "cute."

**Lara puts head in hands**

I would personally like to murder whoever did it, and both my older boys are claiming it wasn't them. I know he wouldn't have seen it on TV, and whenever I flip my Hubby the Bird I try to do it inconspicuously (I am KIDDING!) so I have no idea where he learned it. But you know as soon as he gets into the nursery at church, it will happen. He'll flip off one of the snack ladies or something. Even though I've threatened to swat his pants off if he does it again.

I hope everyone has a good weekend! I will certainly...try.

Another Murphy's Law Day...

You have those every once in a while, right? Here is my day yesterday, in Murphy's Law Speak:

The one night you actually get to bed early, your child will have a nightmare at 3am and wake you up. Oh, and you won't be able to get back to sleep.

I figure with four kids, I will actually get my first restful night's sleep in 2027.

If you butter the toast, it will fall butter side down.

This is an "old" law, but how many of you have managed to drop THREE slices of toast butter-side-down simultaneously? **Lara raises her hand**

If you pass an infuriatingly annoying slow car, suddenly the lane you are in will become even slower, and the slow car will totally pass you.

**grumble**

When you go to the Big Target (which is more of a drive) counting on them to have a certain item in stock, they will be sold out of it. AND the smaller (and more conveniently located) Target will turn out to actually have it in stock.

Mattress pads in size Queen, anyone?

When you RSVP your son to the birthday party, the doctor will suddenly clear him to play soccer in the tournament THAT SAME DAY.

Who woulda thunk? I mean, really?

When you're really on a roll on your manuscript, suddenly your child(ren) will start whining, need "Mommy," take all the markers out and write on the furniture, and want you to read them 9305836 books.

I truly can't win.

When you're looking forward to being a "bad mom" and making a skimpy/processed food dinner, your children will suddenly want to have friends over for dinner. And they'll be allergic to processed food.

I am not kidding. This really was my day!

So far, today is quiet and uneventful. But you know there's a Murphy's Law about that...

Grounded From...EYELINER!!!

Today I get the World's Worst Mom award. I drove the kids to school (I refuse to let my oldest two ride that cesspool of a Middle School bus a moment longer) and after that Thing Four and I zinged to Walmart to look for a particular lamp shade and other odds and ends. Didn't find what we wanted, so we zinged over to Target. No luck. Zinged to another Target. Found exactly what we wanted (and of course I found stuff I DIDN'T need and went over budget) and Thing Four was being so good I bought him a Ring Pop, because he rarely has them and he really really really REALLY wanted one.

We get into the car, and he's happily sucking on his ring pop, and I notice he is asking to stop at every McDonald's we drive by, every Chick-Fil-A, etc. etc. Finally he says, "Mom, my tummy is grumbling. I need to feed it."

I stop and realize, I have forgotten to feed him breakfast.

A ring pop. That's what I'd basically fed him for breakfast. A freaking RING POP. This beats the one time I forgot to feed him a few months back and all I had the in the car was a can of Pringles.

Yeah, I suck. I immediately raced home and made him oatmeal with raisins, and toast. Poor lil' guy. I am awful. AWFUL!!!

In lighter news, I have found a great way to get to Thing One--who is thirteen. If she acts snotty, all I need to do is threaten to ground her from Eyeliner. Yes, you read that right. Yesterday, she was being all snotty and nasty and Hubby said "no eye makeup today." She checked herself pretty quickly. Then she realized, after I had to "confiscate" her mascara and eyeliner, that he was serious, and trust me, she started freaking out.

Guess who didn't wear eyeliner or mascara to school yesterday? **Snort** Needless to say, she was madder than a hornet, and I was certainly persona non grata for actually going along with Hubby's edict, but wow, it sure worked wonders on her attitude. Today she got the eye makeup back. She was sweet as an angel all morning.

I think we're on to something. Or we're just plain mean.

;-)

What the HECK Do I Do Now???

I don't know what to do with myself...soccer is over (well, a broken foot ended the season a tad early) and Thing One's basketball and Thing Two's swimming don't start up until December. Which means I have THREE WHOLE WEEKS of no sports! No practices, no games, no living in my car...it's crazy. I literally don't know how to be. Because I'm a soccer mom. I run around. That's what I do.

Just not for the next three weeks.

This will be a new experience. Since I'll have evenings free, maybe I can actually cook instead of heat things up, like Taquitos and Hot Pockets. Maybe I can get those projects done I started 9582645 years ago and didn't finish. Maybe I could finish a novel. Wow. It will be weird, actually having 5-8pm free!

Maybe I should join a book club or something. ;-)

All kidding aside, it will be a welcome change. And then, when Winter sports start up, I'll be back in my element, living in my car and heating up processed food on Practice Nights.

Yeah, you can stop looking at me like that.

Okay, This is SCARY.

I've come to a major realization, lately. I should have seen this coming. I really should have. First, watch this video, and then read my comments below:

Here's the realization. As we sat down for a family movie this weekend, and I looked up and realized that DURING THE MOVIE Hubby was playing Montezuma on his phone, Thing One was texting on her phone, Thing Three was checking email, and Thing Two was playing some game on his phone, that we have officially become this commercial!

I am banning phones during family time. From This. Point. Forward.

"But Mom, I Need REAL Uggs!!!"

Okay, I may have gotten a "little" carried away with yesterday's post. Maybe I will start decorations for Christmas in two weeks.

Anyway, now that it's cold, we are getting winter shoes for the kids. Thing One let me know, that under no conditions, was she to have "fake" Ugg boots. I was like, "excuse me? Do you know how much Uggs are?"

Apparently not. I went on to explain that I could buy 6.8 pairs of fake Ugg boots for the price of ONE real pair.

"But Mom, everyone has real Uggs! They call the fake ones "Fuggs!"

Hubby and I had a real laugh over that one. "Fuggs." Ha ha.

She was not so amused. I told her when she got a real job and could earn her own clothes, she could blow her money on "non" Fuggs, if she so desired. She didn't much care for that, but when she saw that I got her black Fuggs with buttons, chocolate brown tall Fuggs and light brown fake-sherpa Fuggs and Gray Fuggs, she was okay with it. I mean, now she has Fuggs for every outfit, whereas she would have been limited to one pair of the real thing.

I really think she would almost not care about variety. One pair of real Uggs would be okay with her. Sad.

A small part of me just wanted to cave and buy her the real Uggs (I can't talk, I have to have real Coach handbags) but I haven't bought a Coach bag in two years, I'm proud to say, and with this economy the way it is, I need to help my kids realize that money doesn't grow on trees. Even if Hubby thinks *I* think so. ;-)

Viva Fuggs!!!

Merry Christmas!!! YEAH!!!!!

No, I'm not another person complaining about how all the stores are officially decked out in Holiday/Christmas and it's waaayyyyyyy too early for that yadda yadda yadda. Because the stores and the retail mentality have finally WON.

Bring on Christmas! Bring on the trees and the lights and the really cool little gift displays that only arrive once a year! Bring on the Stollen and Aplets and Cotlets and Candy Canes and Advent calendars and cloying cinnamon-scented pinecones that are EVERYWHERE!!!

My neighbors are getting their yard Christmas-ed out in lights already. I was like "whoa guys, simmer down," but now I have a hankering for getting my own trees up and playing Christmas music. There's nothing like listening to Bing Crosby singing "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" or Johnny Mathis singing "Winter Wonderland," whilst curled up looking at a beautiful tree and sipping peppermint hot cocoa. *sigh*

This time of year rocks. I figure I'll give myself one more week of pumpkins and fall foilage, and then, LET THE DECORATING BEGIN.

WOO!!!

Welcome to Middle School Projects. **Grumble**

Can I just turn back time? Can I just say "Okay, I'm FINE with my kids being in grade school forever? Yeah, I know I can't, but I'm a whiner. I like to lament the fact my kids are growing up too fast.

Thing One, who is in Seventh grade, literally has a project a week, minimum. It's pretty gross. But I will say, all that posterboard and art stuff and paper and craft crud I have built up over the years comes in handy:

"Hey mom, do you have a tube sock?"

"Um, not since the 80's, dear."

"Okay, do you have a styrofoam ball the size of a baseball?"

"Yep."

"Do you have a wooden dowel?"

"Yep."

"How about yarn?"

"You know I do."

"Okay, how about sticky-back foam?"

"Yep. In every color."

So, it's nice to not have to run to Michael's every time she has a project. Although I did have to run to Target yesterday to buy a long white tube sock. Unfortunately, the only long white tube socks they had that didn't have stripes or grey toes came in an $8.00 pack of TEN PAIRS and now I have nine and a half pairs of frugly tube socks I have ZERO idea what to do with. So, NOTE TO TEACHERS: When you ask parents/kids to provide a long white tube sock--you are asking the impossible. NO ONE wears those anymore. Well, some people do, but not anyone in my house.

Nice.

But here's the kicker. And parents, please tell me you've heard this before:

"Hey Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me with this project?"

"What do you have to do?"

"I need to make a poster-size replica of the earth, and cut out different colored paper rings for the atmospheric layers and color and detail it.

"Sure, when is it due?"

"Oh, tomorrow."

"WHAT????!!!!!"

**Lara screams and bangs head agains wall**

THIS is what kills me. When they know about these projects for weeks and don't start working on them until the day before they're due.

Thing One has made a nasty habit of doing this, recently. So, last night, I was Mean Mom. She had two projects due today, but didn't tell me/start working on them until 3pm yesterday. And suddenly she needed me to run around and buy stuff for her and help her color/draw/paint, etc..

So, I refused. Granted, I caved at one point and helped make her Egyptian-boy sock puppet (because he looked really sad), but I drew the line at coloring in the six backgrounds and helping her with her timeline poster. I made her wake up early this morning and finish them. She asked why I wasn't helping her and I TURNED INTO MY MOTHER for a few seconds and said: "Sorry honey, but lack of preparation on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on my part."

Yes, I said the words. I've officially said to my daughter what I HATED having said to me, as a teen. (Mom, stop that smirking.)

Man, she was NASTY after that. I was "unhelpful" and "mean." And I agreed with her. "Yes I am unhelpful and mean. I am also teaching you a lesson."

Luckily, she got it. She promised to stop the procrastination and asked me if I could get some supplies for her next project, due next week. So today I need to buy glitter gel pens (she's used up my other ones) and a pack of construction paper. Which is fine. But she'd better start on it this weekend.

I am SO not looking forward to High School projects.

STOP THE PRESSES!!!! I SLEPT IN!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!!

Blogging late today. Hubby was out at 4am this morning to head to the airport, and of COURSE I woke up too, and once he was gone, I went back to bed! BWA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!!

Imagine my surprise--my kids were actually quiet this morning. School is out today, and it was 9:30 before I woke back up. Can I just say I feel awesome? I made pancakes for the kiddos and later they're off to assorted friends' houses, and taking Thing Four to the park.

Remember to get out and VOTE today! Doesn't matter who you're for, just exercise the gift of being able to vote that you have--it's important. I am wearing my "I voted" sticker with pride today.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Slime and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

*Sigh* Anyone who has boys can relate to this post.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boys. But man, do they have to be so...messy? I mean, they're like little bulldozers sometimes. Thing Three is the worst. He comes home from school on any given day with marker all over his hands, grass stains and mud all over his clothes, sneakers full of rocks and wood chips, and sometimes, sometimes, he still has a ring around his mouth from lunch. I know, **GASP!**

One reason why I don't give him chocolate pudding in his lunch any more, and if I do, I give him a NAPKIN.

Thing Two is different. He doesn't get as messy (the benefits of having a germ-phobic kid) but he puts everything in his shorts/pants pockets. And I mean EVERYTHING. Over the years I've had rocks in my dryer, crayons, chapstick, marbles, legos, bouncy balls, toys, candy wrappers, and my favorite--DS GAMES. Lucky for me they've made those things pretty indestructible. I've had three occasions where DS games have been washed and dried and still worked fine. But please don't try this at home for kicks and giggles, because I really think it's by sheer dumb luck they weren't melted or broken. AND YES I CHECK HIS POCKETS NOW BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FERSHLUGGING POCKETS SHORTS HAVE ON THEM THESE DAYS???????

And my toddler--oy, don't get me started on him. I change his shirt twice a day. I think his record is FOUR shirt changes in twelve hours. Can they isolate the gene that makes kids want to jump into every mud puddle they see? And while they're at it, can they isolate the gene that turns kids deaf to my screams around the age of five???

I guess I'm ranting a little. Well, I have BOYS.

Thank heaven my one girl has finally outgrown being a Tomboy. For the most part. :-)

ps--I'm on day six of "no soda." Here's to not falling off the wagon!!