Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Hard Decision.

So, the earthquake in Chile actually shortened earth's days, because it shifted its axis? Freaky. Granted, the days will only be shorter by like, a MILLISECOND, but that is still freaky. As in Biblical Proportion Freaky....

Now, about my post title. I've moved a few times in my life. As a kid, I moved during a pretty crucial time--right in the middle of eighth grade. I had been a "North Side" kid, and suddenly, we were moving to a house on the "South Hill." I remember my fellow 8th-graders, in their usual blatant hostility, calling me a "traitor" and a "snob." Because only "snobs" lived on the South Hill. Yeah. That was fun. Of course, I met some "South Hill" girls in my new church ward who continue to be my dear friends even to this day, (even though we've never managed to live in the same city since college, *sniff*), so it was worth it.

And now, here I am, asking my sixth-grader, Thing One, to leave all her friends she's carefully cultivated over the last nearly four years, and it's a heartbreaking thing to see. In fact, she had a major meltdown on me this weekend, where I held her while she sobbed.

My kids were "all for" moving initially, and one by one, they've turned on me and now they don't want to leave. Trust me, I feel their pain. I moved after fourth grade. THAT was tough. I moved during a very formative 8th grade. Tough, but I got through it. I've moved, during my marriage to Hubby, a total of SEVEN times to Las Vegas, Houston, Dallas, Milwaukee, Denver, back to Milwaukee and now, North Carolina.

We have decided we are DONE moving. Our kids need to stay in one place so they can make/have friends they "grow up" with. At least for as long as they are in the house. Hubby is with a solid, stable company, and we know where we want to live. (Waxhaw, Brenda, in case you wondered!)

So, here's the dilemma: Our house is listed, and we have found a rental for us to live in in North Carolina (in the school district/neighborhood we want) until we find a house. Which means, you guessed it, I would pull the kids out of school, and put them in their new school, in a couple WEEKS. Frankly, I hate to do that, given my experience as a child, but on the other hand our kids miss their dad, and frankly, their dad can't get along very well without ME. (Oh, who said that!) And of course I miss him, too, and it has kinda stunk being apart. Hubby thinks it would be a good idea to get the kids in so they can make some friends who will want to hang out over the summer. I think that's a good idea too, BUT, the kids fall apart at the mere mention of leaving now.

SO, what to do, what to do...



Devon Ellington said...

You know, I've been thinking and thinking about this post this morning.

Actually, I think, in the long run, you're better off making a clean break sooner rather than later, and all being together, especially if you're going to stick to your guns about not moving again until the kids are out of school. If you wait out the rest of the school year, they'll know the separation is coming, and I think it will wind up being harder and more stressful as the weeks progress. They'll start missing their friends and worrying about the change more instead of enjoying the time left, and there will be a ripple effect all through lives, home, school, etc.

I think of it like cauterizing a wound instead of letting it ooze.

Other people may have completely different opinions.

Jennifer said...

I'll be praying for you! We are thinking of moving soon as well--before or after Fiona starts jr. high?? I don't think there is a perfect time or perfect way.Kids are resilient. We did it. They can do it

Anonymous said...

Ditto Devon's post. Regardless of what they think, they're still young and resilient.

They could be in high school.

Michelle Miles said...

I, too, agree with what Devon said. They will DREAD the end of the school year if they know that's the cut off date for them to move.

I guess I'm lucky. I lived in the same house all my life growing up. My parents NEVER moved. In fact, my mom still lives in that house.

Good luck. I don't envy your position. I know it's not easy!