Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Today is a half day. My kids were hard to get up. We've had this weird fever thing happening in our house--I kept Thing Three home from school on Thursday last week with a fever and a headache. The next day he was fine. Yesterday morning, Thing Two had the fever and headache, so I kept him home. Today, he's at school, feeling fine.

Guess who came home from school last night with a fever and a headache? Thing One. Weird. It's like this 24-hour thing is attacking them, but they're fine the next day. So far so good on Thing Four--which is a relief. But I'm watching a friend's daughter tomorrow while she goes into the hospital to have her baby, so I'm spraying and wiping everything down, just to be safe. We'll probably spend the day outside the house anyway. There's a jumping castle place down the street from my house, and other fun places to go.

I'm having a stressful week. Personal stress has added to my own stress of expectation--of myself. I'm always hard on myself at the beginning of each year. Human nature, I suppose. I look back over the previous year and think about what I accomplished/didn't accomplish, and although I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions (since I never seem to keep them more than a few weeks anyway) I set goals for myself, and take a personal inventory.

Wow, I came up pretty short last year! Granted, I'm a stay-home mom. Until my kids leave the house, they are my #1 priority. I'm going to have unrealized dreams and goals. But after I've raised my kids, and they're on their own, it will be time to focus on what *I* need/want. Until then, I'm always going to come up a little short, or be unable to do a few things I want to do. Which is OK. I made this decision, along with Hubby, to make this my occupation, for now.

So, juggling what I need to do with what I want to do, therein lies the difficulty. Because I'm NOT a juggler. I don't do bouncy balls and plates, or anything like that. I'm good at throwing ONE ball in the air at a time, if you'll pardon the lame analogy. Sometimes I can juggle two for a short time, but then I need to drop one and focus on the main ball.

If that makes sense.

I always get "ansty" when a new year arrives. And we're talking MAJOR Ants-in-the-pants. I want to be able to do more than one thing. I want to be able to do multiple things. I want to be able to JUGGLE it all, and have it all. Without burning out, and without spreading myself too thin.

Juggling for Dummies, anyone?


Lee Anne said...

Makes lots of sense! We moms lose ourselves in the process of being great moms. Keep in mind you still have a little one at home. You will have a little more time for yourself when he is in school full time. You cleaned out your basement last year, didn't you? That inspired me to do mine. Please post if you do a 2010 clean out. Mine needs it again. =)

We are 3. said...

I am with you. I am envious of the women who can seemingly "do it all". That just isn't me, no matter how hard I try.
I keep a running list each year where I can check things off (I love a good check mark) or can add to it if I think of something new I would like to do. That way I can see what I have done, yet still keep my eye on what I WANT to do.