Thursday, September 22, 2005

Where's the Joy?

I'm all for change. Change can be a good thing. However, the timing of the change can also be a bad thing.
I find myself getting crankier and crankier lately, and I finally figured out why. I am comfortable here. I know where everything is, my kids have GREAT teachers, I finally got the freeway system down (I am Directionally Challenged) and there are even new people in my church who are actually calling me up and wanting to do stuff with me.

And we're leaving. So, yes, timing can make change either good, or rotten.

I discovered the reason I'm cranky is because I haven't had time to pause and breathe, much less write. No journal entries, no blogging (I am supposed to be getting the kids ready for school right now but I'm stealing ten minutes to write this entry) and certainly no writing. Writing is my life blood. It calms me. It is therapeutic. Now that I don't have time to write, I am in full Stress Mode.

One of my dear friends said that when "writers get stressed, they go buy books."
Let me tell you, I went out of my way yesterday when I was supposed to be picking out paint colors and made a killing at the local Half-price Books.
I haven't had time to write, or read, two of my passions. Now it's all about phone calls, faxing, internet research (on schools, etc) picking out decor, keeping my house pristine and spotless for those BUTTHEAD realtors who like to call and ask for a showing "in ten minutes" etc...ON TOP of my regular routine.

Hence, I'm a total crankypants. Not to mention the fact that Hubby will be leaving this weekend to start work in Denver and I will be a totally ALONE crankypants.

Heaven help me.


Michelle Miles said...

Aw. You poor thing. I wish there was something I could do. Things will calm down once you get moved and settled, I'm sure. But getting there is so hard. {{HUGS}}

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say other than you'll get through it. Take care.

Devon Ellington said...

You have to take the time for yourself for a few minutes every day. Or you'll explode, and you won't be able to focus on what needs to be done.

Book yourself 20-30 minutes a day and let the family know it's NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Otherwise, it's going to be a much tougher transition.

Moving sucks anyway, but if you push yourself too hard, it's even worse. When I left NYC, I packed up 13 years of my life in ten days, and it nearly killed me. I threw out NINETY 30-gallon trash bags full of stuff, took SIX carts of things to the Goodwill, drove 12 roundtrips to the temporary space, drove boxes to storage every day, and had two full moving days to fill two storage units.

By the time I left in a car service on midnight of the last day, I was standing on the corner of 42nd St. and 8th avenue, holding an enormous stuffed black panther as I waited for the car service and sobbing. And as the car pulled away from the curb, somebody was stabbed on the steps where I'd just stood.

Now, THAT was a statement!

I want the next move to be much easier, both physically and emotionally.

Ann said...

Doesn't moving stink? Especially when it's a rush job. Ouch.
I agree with everybody above - you've got to take time for yourself!