Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I Own Five Pairs of Scissors. Why Can't I Find Even ONE???

I am going to start calling my house the Bermuda Triangle. No, seriously. Because things go missing. Socks are the number one thing. Followed closely by--in fact, it's a tie--between Chip Clips and writing pens. Next comes ponytail elastics. And I know who the culprit is, because I only have one daughter. I think she eats them after she uses them, because I'll buy her a brand new package of 30 or so, and two weeks later she tells me she doesn't have any ponytail elastics.

Then the SCISSORS. Don't get me started on those. I have several pairs. I have Kitchen scissors. (Which, apparently, have been borrowed for everything EXCEPT kitchen stuff!) I have scissors in my desk drawer in my office. I have scissors in my drawer in the bathroom. I have scissors in the master bedroom, to cut all those pesky new clothes tags off.

But I also have the Holy Scissors. As in, they have "MOM'S SCISSORS DO NOT TAKE!" written all over them in black sharpie, and they are only for fabric projects, and they are the holiest of scissors--as in, it's very very VERY bad to swipe them. Swiping them incurs the Wrath Of Mom.

And they're all missing. Every single stinking pair.

Bermuda Triangle strikes again. Or rather, my CHILDREN. Who are very much in trouble. I think sometimes I truly get why my parents had a locked cupboard in the kitchen. At the time, I didn't understand it (or more like I was angry because I couldn't pick the lock!) but now, I get it. I am one step away...I will have a locked cupboard in my kitchen, and inside it I will have scissors, ponytail elastics, BOXES of writing pens, chip clips, iPod wall chargers, mechanical pencils, packs of gum and extra SOCKS. With a big ole' padlock on it. Bwahahahahahahahaaa!!!


Devon Ellington said...

You should do that, absolutely.

Also, for the move, if you get one of those plastic tote thingys, you can keep packing tape, scissors, labels, and an assortment of sharpies in there, and take it with you as you pack. Saves a lot of time and frustration Hide it in the back of a closet the kids don't go into often when you're done.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it just becomes a survival tactic.

Yes, the sissors "thing" always blew me away!


Brenda said...

Add losing ten pairs of nail clippers and you have my house. Hiliarious!

Lindsay said...

Maybe the trolls are stealing the socks but they only like the left one. (Do you know the movie?)

Aimee said...

I thought my house growing up was the only one with a locked cupboard in the kitchen?!?!? I wonder if our parents spoke with each other about it? And if so, whose idea was it in the first place?