Friday, April 25, 2008

I've Been Sentenced...

...to at least 18 more years of nagging. Yes, I'm officially a NAG. But that's only because my kids are...well...typical kids. I hope. I'm doomed to nag them, literally hundreds of times a day:

Put away your soccer stuff! Does your shirt go there? Did you brush your teeth? Finish your vegetables! Hang up your clothes. Put your shoes where they belong. Empty the garbage. Did you do the dishes? Is your homework done? Did you brush your hair? Did you finish your report? Call me if you leave (insert kid name here)'s house and go somewhere else. Sit up straight, you look like The Hunchback. Take your vitamins. Throw your cups away after you get a drink. Wash your hands. Lift up the toilet seat when you pee. Put your backpack where it belongs. Wash your hair this time. Leave the baby alone. Stop kissing the baby. Stop hugging the baby, he thinks he's getting attacked...yadda yadda yadda yadda.

I'm tired of nagging. And with four kids, I've been sentenced to many long years of it. Why can't kids just do what we tell them to do, the first time around? Why can't we give them multiple instructions, and have them follow them? Why can't they turn off TVs and lights and flush toilets?

Or is it just my kids, and I've failed somehow?

6 comments:

Devon Ellington said...

Of course you haven't failed.

I know with the godkids, their parents never have consequences when the kids misbehave or don't listen. So they don't bother.

When they're with me, there are consequences and I follow through. I'm a hard ass disciplinarian. You whine? You don't get to go out with us next time. You leave something on the floor? It'll still be dirty next time you want it, because I am NOT the maid. You disobeyed me? No computer or TV for a week, and every time that whining note creeps back in, another week is tacked on, so if you want to see TV again before you're 150, you will shut up NOW.

It works. The only time I have to repeat myself is the first day of the first time they visit.

And sometimes I have six to ten of them with me at a time, so organization is a must. Now, they're older, but when they ranged from, like 4 to 16 -- it wasn't easy.

Their parents, however, just nag and fuss and whine back, and nothing ever gets done. Some of them get away with things I just think are totally shocking and unacceptable -- and I'm not easily shocked.

Michelle Miles said...

Aw you haven't failed! Not at all. Kids are KIDS. They don't listen becuase their thinking about games/movies/videos/whatever instead of what you're telling them to do. They don't hear you until you YELL it. And then by that time you're so frustrated you want to rip out all your hair and gouge out your eyes. Okay, maybe that's just ME... hehe

I'm a firm believer that THAT is exactly why Moms are insane. Hang in there. Once they all get older, though, it'll get easier.

Amy Addison said...

You have NOT failed. I don't think there's a mother out there who hasn't been through this.

Lowa said...

Naw, my kids do the same junk. And I get complimented pretty much constantly on what great kids they are, so I am sure you are fine:)

The only thing that makes it better is if I take the time to go to them and touch them and make eye contact. It really works wonders. It is easier sometimes to yell up or down the stairs things like "COME FEED THE CATS!" and "YOU FORGOT TO LOAD THE DISHWASHER!!" and "WHY IS YOUR HOCKEY BAG STILL HERE!?!? PUT IT AWAY!!!"

Like Devon said, we have consequences. Like yesterday, my 15 year old spent about 4 hours doing chores because he refused to get out of bed and do his usual chores. He knows if he has to be told more than once, he has MEGA chores added to the list. Apparently it was worth it to him or something, who knows??

I forget to take my own advice and when I remember, I make a point to not raise my voice at all. I just go to them, touch their arm and signal them to come with me. They follow, I point to what they needed to do and we both carry on with our chores. It takes more time, but things are a lot calmer and they seem to prefer it as well. Try it for a few days and see what happens. The trick is continuing. If you are in a hurry, etc it is very hard to go to each child and do that. That is why planning and being prepared is a must, which I SUCK AT! LOL

I also try and remind myself that as you said, they ARE kids. They honestly do not care if the house is a mess and don't think to clean up the kitchen. Because it doesn't bother them. My kids do their own laundry and I keep my mouth shut about it. If they have not done it in a few weeks and they have no clean clothes, we leave the house in stinky clothes with kethcup all over ther shirt. They are honestly more mortified than I am and it has only happened a few times. They keep up on their laundry much better since any of that happened:) It is called "Reality Discipline" and it works! Try to get some DVDs or books by Kevin Leman out of the library. He is HILARIOUS and has some great advice. He has five kids.

Hang in there girl! You are doing great!

wfbdoglover said...

Hello - I only have one, and I was sick of nagging too... so here is what I would suggest and have done.

Regarding......
Put away your soccer stuff!
Does your shirt go there?
Hang up your clothes.
Put your shoes where they belong.
Throw your cups away after you get a drink.
Put your backpack where it belongs.

Just stop saying those things. Pick them up and put them on their bed. When they go to bed, they will ask what is this doing here and you will say, this is everything you were suppose to put away, now you must do it or you will not be able to sleep in your bed. (don't forget to include the drink cups)


Did you brush your teeth?
Did you brush your hair?

Everyone is done with dinner - gets up and goes, the one who hasn't finished their vegtables sits by themselves until they are done - or if you have dessert then they don't get it or no TV if they don't finish their veggies when everyone is done eating.
That solves.. Finish your vegetables!


Again... don't nag.. Ask Thing two, what are you suppose to be doing whenever these chores are suppose to be done.

Make them tell you... what they are suppose to do and when they haven't, ask them why and then give a consequence.

Take your vitamins.
Wash your hands.
Empty the garbage.
Did you do the dishes?
Is your homework done?
Did you finish your report?

Call me if you leave (insert kid name here)'s house and go somewhere else.
__ when the above is done, the next time you say NO you can't do this because you did not call when you went somewhere else. - Bet it won't happen again.

Sit up straight, you look like The Hunchback. - SORRY cant help you here, my mom still yells at me for that one.


HA this is a good one, I made my son clean the toliet and after doing that once, he now lifts the seat.

Lift up the toilet seat when you pee.

Did you Wash your hair this time? - Answer NO = what I do is sometimes forget when I am asked something and then I say OH, now you know what it feels like...

Maybe ask what they are doing to the baby. Does Thing Four look like she is enjoying what you are doing to her?? Maybe show them how to play appropriately with the baby.... and explain how helpful it is when they keep her/him entertained for you...

Then you are not nagging... Leave the baby alone. Stop kissing the baby. Stop hugging the baby, he thinks he's getting attacked...yadda yadda yadda yadda.

So I hope you don't mind my two cents...

Lynn Sinclair said...

It's not just your kids. Sometimes, I have repeated a request so often, I've considered having it tattooed on my forehead.