Monday, March 31, 2008


Status: Back to normal. School is in!

Thing One is home with me this morning--she has her annual eye appt. at 10. Then I'll take her to lunch and school afterwards.

So, I had a "full circle" moment yesterday. I couldn't find any scissors. Not only that, but my SPECIAL scissors were missing too.

Let me preface: when I was a kid my mom had a drawer she kept "her scissors" in. Being kids, we would always use them. And being typical kids, we'd never put them back. So mom would yell up the stairs (or down the stairs, depending on where we were): WHERE ARE MY SCISSORS???!!! THEY'RE MISSING! I WANT THEM RIGHT NOW!!!

I thought my mom was overreacting about her scissors. They were just scissors, for Pete's sake!
And we'd all run around looking for them while she yelled that we weren't to touch her scissors and if we did we had to put them back in the drawer, etc. etc. etc.

So, I have a drawer in my craft room, that has scissors in it. Not only does it have the kids' and my scissors, but it has the SPECIAL scissors: the pink Fiskars ones that I wrote "Mom's Do Not Take" with a black sharpie and put little skulls and crossbones all over. The kids know they are not to touch those scissors. They're the nicest ones. (Except for the "Fabric Only" scissors I have tucked away under lock and key, which if taken, is punishable by DEATH).

Okay, well, not death, but you get the whole "my scissors are off limits" thing. So, yesterday I decide to make some cards to have on hand and I go into the scissor drawer and GASP--- it's completely empty.

They have even taken the Special Scissors. Rage boils up in me like hot lava. How dare they take MY scissors???


(My mom will love this post, mark my words.)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Spring Break Hell.

Status: Well, check out the title!

Hubby and I looked at each other last night, and said "No way. Never again. NEVER."

What we meant by that was "There is no way in HADES that we will ever NOT go somewhere for Spring Break again!!" Sitting at home with four kids is NOT our idea of fun, because the weather has not been cooperative and frankly, we're all driving each other MENTAL. Sure, we planned out some fun things to do, but mostly they've fallen through because stuff happens, and we're HOME for pete's sake. So there's no pressure to "get out" and see stuff. It's the same ol' same ol'.

NOT FUN. And the kids seem to think every day is Saturday, and I'm supposed to put on THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Of Breakfasts, and frankly, I'm opting for the "community theatre version"...a bowl of cereal.

We were supposed to get six inches of snow today, but THANKHEAVEN they said the storm will bypass us mostly. It's just overcast and gloomy. I'm trying to make a dent in the laundry, and now that my ankle is better, the personal trainer is coming over tonight and frankly, I feel like a LUMP.

And, I have a crick in my neck. Woke up with it this morning. I can't turn my head to the right, without extreme pain. I think I'll go turn some cartwheels.

But hey, Hubby promised to take me shopping today. I think he feels for me. He said I need to look for a new Coach bag. And a wallet to match. Maybe a week home with four kids (one of them being a baby) helps him appreciate my job a little more? Of course, I know his job is stress and craziness (they're constantly emailing and calling him) but kids can put you in the Loony Bin after a while. If you let them.

I'm surfing the chaos right now. That's all I can do! Once the kids start going to bed at 8:30 again, I'll have my writing time back. For now, they're staying up until ten and watching movies every night.

I did take them to see "College Road Trip" yesterday and I laughed out loud a few times. Very Disney, but VERY cute. Loved it. But I bawled at the end. She went off to college and her parents fell apart. That will be me. My kids could drive me to the edge of insanity and back and I'll completely lose it when they grow up and leave the Nest.

Gotta enjoy them while I can! Only next Spring Break, I'm going to enjoy them more if we're someplace tropical...

Monday, March 24, 2008

For Michelle :-)

I took this shot from my front door. The salt truck misjudged and got stuck in a ditch. Soon after another truck came, and they nudged him out. Can you imagine how heavy that truck was? It's filled with gravel!

Spring Break

Status: Cleaning. Thrillsville.

I am trying to keep a positive attitude about the snow. Really, I am. I was going to post a lovely picture of the salt truck that got stuck in a ditch in front of our house during the blizzard, but I decided, since I'm staying POSITIVE, to refrain.

Hope everyone had a good Easter weekend. Except for the...*ahem*... SNOW FROM HADES that came out of nowhere last night, we did.

We're doing a mini "Spring Clean" this morning, and then it's lunch and off to bowling. Sorry for the short post--but I have a feeling this week will be mostly short posts!

Oh, and once the fields dry up---SOCCER TIME will be here again! Mixed emotions about that one...

Friday, March 21, 2008


Yeah. Whatever.
This was actually taken when it started. We are currently in white-out blizzard conditions. Of course our church ward is hard-core, they STILL held the easter egg hunt at the park!
I had to say "no" to that one.
Excuse me while I go be depressed.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Status: Outraged. It's SPRING, DANG IT!!!

So, apparently Mother Nature is enjoying her little joke. We're supposed to get 3-6 inches of snow tonight and tomorrow!


The Easter Egg Hunt will be cancelled. Our outing to the park won't happen either. And I'm not washing my car (I was going to take it in and get it detailed inside and out) now that I know it's going to get all gross again. We have been enjoying sunshine and warmer (40s and 50s) weather. I mean, COME ON ALREADY! President Bush even decided to give us Disaster Relief because of that awful storm we had in February. We've had a hard winter. Just when we think things are turning a corner, to hear that we're getting MORE's really disheartening. I mean, we had neighborhood kids out, riding bikes and scooters yesterday, and my own kids and a bunch of others were running around our backyard and playing BASEBALL for cripe's sake! AND it's Spring Break!!!

Okay, rant over. But can you tell how sick of snow I am? I will proceed with my regular plans, though. Tonight I'll make dough, and tomorrow we'll make about 83429 Easter cookies, and decorate them, so we can take them around to friends and neighbors. The kids are home from school tomorrow--maybe I'll brave the drive to the "big" Half Price Books and we can get lost in there for an hour or so. As long as Baby is cooperative. :-)

On the Writing Front:
I've cracked 24K. I need to speed up though, because the end of the month is looming. I found myself a little "stumped" last night, because after I finished writing THE BIG SCENE, I discovered that I still only had half a novel and there are only three or four more key scenes, and they weren't enough to make up the next 25,000 words. So I had to scramble and think of some more subplot, and I just started writing. And something happened, and we turned a corner, and now, I have at least one more chapter's worth. And I'm wrapping my head around another idea, that will be fun, but tricky. LOTS of research required for this one. But if I do it right, I'll be able to pull it off.
I can only hope! I'm just excited I'm doing this. I haven't written new material in a LONG time.

Off to the races I go! But hey, more snow DOES mean more Postum! Yum!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Attacked By a Deer...

Status: Elated. I got some WORDS in yesterday! 2200!

Okay, so I wasn't actually attacked by a deer. But, a while back, I posted about seeing a turkey in the window of our basement, and how cool it was, blah blah blah.

Well, I was carrying the baby down to the basement yesterday morning after the kids got on the bus, and I was startled by a movement in the same window. There was this large animal, with it's face in the window, munching on my landscaping. At first, I thought it was a COW or something, but when I set the baby down and got a look at the mangy matted coat, I realized it was a big doe. I mean, full grown. She was BIG. And she was eating my plants!

If she wasn't eating the plants I worked so hard to help survive last year, I would have just let her have her fill and watched her, fascinated. But, I couldn't have her eating my plants! So I gently shook the blinds, and she bolted and galloped away. I mean, we live in a heavily forested subdivision, next to a bunch of empty lots--she has LOTS to eat.

Have to run Thing Two to the Dr. today--he has a pus-filled infected cuticle, and his fingertip is swollen and shiny. And he screams if you touch it. So, off to the dr. we go. I just hope they don't have to lance it. He'll shatter all the windows. That kid has lungs. HIGH PITCHED lungs...

Well, Happy Wednesday! Spring break is upon us! Happy Happy Joy Joy.

(that was only a little sarcastic...)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I'm SuperMom...

Here's a shout-out to my friend who is living in Istanbul: Happy Birthday, Aimee!!

Status: I've already run to the dry cleaners and TWO stores. And it's not even 9 o'clock yet...

Okay, I'm Supermom. Why? I just carried FOUR gallons of milk, PLUS one super-sized Tropicana orange juice in my arms all the way from the car in the garage to the kitchen. (I think my right wrist might need a splint now, but hey! I'm Supermom!)

Yeah. Whatever.

I superSUCKED last night at writing. 600 words. Hubby tied me to the sofa with duct tape and forced me to watch DEXTER with him.

Okay, so he didn't "force" me to do it, I went willingly. But it sounds better when a low word count ISN'T your fault...
I am at THE BIG SCENE. I've been looking forward to writing this one for about...hmmm, a year and a half. It's the scene that inspired me to write the novel in the first place. Not that I'm excited or anything. (You couldn't tell, could you?)

I've got to get my writing in today during the day, because we have Cubs tonight. With the trek to the church, we are back pretty late. And I'll be pooped. So I'll get my words in during the baby's nap. Thank heaven I already got all the "Easter Week" groceries. We're set! So I can stay in today and write.

Time to do the "Captain Feathersword Dance" with The Wiggles and Baby!

Monday, March 17, 2008


Okay, I totally forgot it was St. Patrick's day. And I'm Irish, for hell's sake! Ooops. At least one of my sons wore green (unwittingly) today. Eh. A little teasing at school is good for you. Besides, it will be good-natured.

Had a really good weekend. Pinewood Derby was on Saturday, and Thing Two's car took SECOND PLACE in his age group, and Fourth Place overall! Not bad for a first-time experience! Here was the car:

It's slot #5. You can't see it, but it had a license plate on it (covered by the sticker) and little paper "flames" coming out of the exhaust pipes. Grandpa rocks!!! And he won all three of his heats by FEET. Go Speed Racer!!!

After the Pinewood Derby, we went and had lunch at a local burger place we'd never tried out before, and frankly, I think we have a new favorite. Except the burgers were HUGE. I never want to eat again! We put off seeing "Horton" with the kids, we were just too tired and it will give us something to do together during Spring Break, since we wont be going anywhere. But I'm planning out lots of fun things for us to do. ALTHOUGH, having Hubby home for a week will get...interesting. He likes to "find" things that need to be done, and we all work like dogs getting them done. I am all for RELAXATION.

Sunday was a good day, church, and relaxing. I got some words in on the story, but GET THIS, I am THIRTY SIX words away from the 20,000 mark! I am so mad! I didn't start writing until late last night, eeked out a few paragraphs, and saved. I was so tired I didn't check the word count, until this morning.

Well, you can bet your buns I'm going to break 20K today! Woo! SO CLOSE!!!

Oh, and Happy St. Pats day!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Is Spring Springing?

Status: Grumpy. Lack of sleep is affecting me. I need to stop going to bed at midnight! Five hours of sleep isn't good for my mood. Because when Momma ain't know the rest.

It was 53 degrees yesterday! And today it will be the same. Mount Everest II (or so I have named the pile of snow the plowers have made at the top of my driveway) is resembling a hill more than a mountain now, thank heaven. The kids even got out their razors and zoomed around outside.
But of course, when you have that much snow melting, you have another problem: water. There was literally a river running through the grocery store parking lot yesterday.

This will be a short post, unfortunately, Thing Two just called from school and told me he forgot his glasses. So I get to pack up and run them to his school. UGH.

Tomorrow is the Pinewood Derby! Thing Two's car rocks. There aren't any other words to describe it. I'll post pics on Monday.

Have a good weekend, all!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I'm a MEAN Mom...

Status: I have almost 16,000 words on my story. I'm happy as a clam. :-)

I didn't go anywhere yesterday either because of the foot--this has to be some record. But I was able to SIT DOWN and organize the closet, and fold clothes. (It's always nice when you can "walk" into a walk-in closet.)

Hubby and I are addicted to American Idol, and the big problem is, during my writing time at night is when he wants to watch the DVR'd shows. So, last night, he watched both episides of AI and I was typing away in the office next door, and I kept rushing out to see who was singing, etc. All my favorites did awesome! But I digress. It's hard to write when your show is on. But I managed to get in 1350 words, so no major complaints. (Devon I can see you rolling your eyes, stop it!) ;-)

The story really is coming out effortlessly. I am surprised. The first book came out easily too. But the faster I get it out, the more polishing I'll have to do later. Oh well.

At least I'm doing it! I'm fired up. Usually I'm not this excited to write. I guess if I write what I love, I'm happy.

I got the boys to clean their room after school. Usually we clean on Saturday after breakfast, but I was afraid something was going to rise up out of the crap in their room and kill them in their sleep. Yes, it was THAT messy. So I gave them "assignments" and set the timer. If I don't set the timer, they piddlyfart around and get nothing done. Well, they piddlyfarted, and so I told them they were going to be grounded from their Nintendo DS's for a day. (Since I only let them play them on Saturdays, and that's it, it was a serious thing) Needless to say, they got it cleaned up really quick.

I am such a mean mom. They told me that yesterday. Thing Three thinks I'm mean because I make him eat green peas. Thing Two thinks I'm mean because I make him take showers at night. Thing One thinks I'm mean because NO ONE should have to do the dishes every day.
Yep, I'm the meanest mom around. But my kids are going to grow up to be responsible, work-oriented adults. Or I'll consider myself a failure. I wear the "mean mom" badge VERY proudly.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Is it Wednesday?

Status: I have a ten-month old cutting a MOLAR. I'll let you guess. ;-)

Mixed bag of stuff yesterday. I took it easy on the foot, got some writing in, research, and re-discovered some great books in my library that I bought but never read. They had a lot of information I needed in the research vein. I was pleasantly surprised.

The Devon Records Office finally got back to me with answers to my questions. Their archivist was very helpful, I can only imagine how much microfiche he had to sift through to answer my inquiry. He also took the time to point me in the right direction for my other questions. All the archivists in the UK I have dealt with are very friendly, very helpful.

My Franklin refills came in the mail, FINALLY, now I'm all organized again. I also fiddled around with the idea of a Wordpress blog, but since I am website design/html challenged, I gave it up. I've been using Blogger since 2004 and frankly, it's always worked for me, so I'm sticking with it for the time being.

Signed Thing One up for fastpitch softball, can you say CHA CHING???? Yikes. It was expensive! I guess I'm used to Soccer. It's pricey, but not THAT pricey.

The baby has taken to mimicking everything we do. It's quite hilarious. I told Thing Two to finish his homework yesterday, and he gave this loud groan of frustration, and seconds later this tiny identical groan of frustration came from the baby, who was in his high chair, eating freeze-dried apples. Needless to say we all cracked up.

I'd better not cuss around the baby anymore. Or we'll have a "Meet The Parents II" moment, I'm sure. :-/

Time to make phone calls and lists. My wood floors are heinously sticky, but what can I do? I have a gimp foot. They'll just have to be sticky for now. Maybe tomorrow...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Anyone Want a Left Foot?

Status: Frustrated and Blah. I hurt my ankle again. Too much "go go go" I guess. Taking it easy.

Hubby didn't come home until after 11 last night. Business dinner. I had a bad writing day. Yeah, I'm going to admit it. The story is flowing and everything, but I was feeling sorry for myself with the whole ankle thing. My personal trainer, bless her, keeps emailing and wondering if I'm "up to" a workout with her. I can't even do cardio. It hurts to put weight on my ankle. Maybe that's why I feel yucky. I can't work out. It's amazing how much we depend on our ankles. ;-)

I'm not doing much today, so I'm going to write write write. Maybe I'll snap out of my funk.


If you have a moment, swing on over to Ink In My Coffee and wish her happy birthday!

Monday, March 10, 2008


Status: A tad's Monday, you know.

Mondays are always so crazy for me. It's like, everything gets put on hold on weekends so we can have "enjoyable family" time, and then, on Monday, it's back to the grind. Post office, bank, dry cleaners, grocery shopping, gas/wash the car, yadda yadda yadda.

AND the house is usually cluttery, from having so many humans in it. Boo.

So, we got AWESOME deals on Saturday. We got tons of stuff, and basically everything was 75% off. It was great. What was NOT SO GREAT, was the fact that my ankle was screaming by the time we were done. Now it's really hurting, and I've probably set everything back. I am SO DUMB. I'm back to icing it and it's all these lovely purple, green and red colors. No yellow yet. I always know when I see yellow, it's on the mend. Nice, huh?

(Cue Na na na na na music) Guess who has 12,800 words in? Guess who has 12,800 words in??? Not bad for starting March 1st. Of course, I'm a tad short of my goal of 1650 words a day (I'm averaging about 1400) but things are really taking off now, and I'll be getting higher word counts in shorter time. The story is pouring out of my head, literally. I guess it's been pent up in there a while. :-)
I've designated my writing time from 8:45-10:30 pm at night. During the day I just have too much going on, with a baby and three kids with schoolwork and all the activities we do. But when I get them in bed, it's all MY time. Hubby likes to unwind and watch TV at night, I will reward myself with a trip into EMMA's world. It works!

Well, enough boring writing stuff. I guess writers tend to think everyone else thinks writing is awesome and fun to hear about. ;-) Then again, it is!!!


Friday, March 07, 2008

Friday Schmiday.

Status: Ready to have this durn thing off my foot, already!!!!

I'm walking much better. Granted, my ten-month old (who doesn't walk yet) could probably outrun me, but I'm getting around.

I'm happy because I sent a sixteenth-century "diary entry" to a friend as a teaser from the book I'm writing, and she thought it was authentic. Which means I did my research right. Yay! I won't give too much away, but my actual historical character has nothing written or surviving about her, so I'm making up about 85% of what she did. But I've been researching her for three years. So I feel like I've earned the right. In my opinon. :-)

There's a HUGE sale at Boston Store, so we're doing the kids' spring clothes shopping all in one swoop on Saturday. I love sales like this. Its like 30% off the 50% off the already reduced, PLUS our associate discount. One time, we got $2000 worth of clothes for $300. You just can't beat deals like that. We have a game plan in place. We're going to wake up super early, and just go and get it all done. I just hope my ankle holds out! I'm just lucky, I have a hubby who loves to shop for our kids. I mean, you just don't find many hubbies like that!

Have a good weekend, everyone, and stay warm!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

I Can See Clearly Now...

Status: Just having breakfast. It's been a busy morning already.
I got contacts yesterday. Thing Two is in glasses now (he's quite handsome!) and I decided I was tired of glasses. Here is a self-photo I took last year with my cell phone--you can see the glasses I've had for three years. I kind of like my glasses, but it's time for a change:So this morning I put my contacts in, did my hair, makeup, etc., and went to my son's parent/teacher thingy at the school. It was TONS better without the glasses on my face--and I could wear my ultra huge sunglasses that I love (that AREN'T prescription) in the car.

So, I think I'm liking the contacts! Much better! And I look more like myself. I ran into an old friend in Denver in 2006 and he didn't recognize me at first! GLASSES!!!

Hubby freaked me out a little this morning. He said a bomb went off in NYC two blocks from his hotel at 4am. I was like WTH??? A Bomb?? AS in, terrorism? This is not cool! I am going to scan the news to see what I can find when I'm done posting.

You can see my word count on EMMA2 is creeping along...I am getting my daily goals in and it feels great! I just need to keep the momentum up

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Feeling Better.

Status: Feeling "hobbled" (and a tad insane from lack of freedom) but otherwise feeling better.

Got in 2000 words yesterday. Go me! I could have gotten in more, but I'm pacing myself. It's quite the phenomenon, I get immersed in a scene and after I've typed it out, it's two hours later and I've got my word count in. Yet it feels like it's only ten minutes. That's the MUSE, folks, and I'm riding the wave as long as I can! :-)

My Francis Drake books from Amazon arrived yesterday. A good friend recommended Strand and I am going to check them out next time around. I love getting books for $3.00. It rocks! Sure, they're not in mint condition, but I just need them for reference, and I don't care. But I usually try to get the "very good" and "like new" used books. Anything below "very good" and you're taking a risk. I got a "good" once because it was the only option and it was water-warped, had food stains on it and smelled. I made notes from it and tossed it into the garbage. (I know, *gasp* but I was scared where that book had been!)

I've ditched the crutches (thank heaven, my arms are so sore I can barely move them!) and I'm hobbling now. My foot is U-GLY. Swollen and bruised to heck and back. But it's feeling better.

Time to get the kids on the bus!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Um, OUCH...

Status: Sore, bruised, chipped and tired. Stay out of my way!!!

So yesterday sucked. At about 7am I fell down the stairs. Don't worry, I didn't start at the top and roll down the entire stairs or anything, just the last two stairs. But I heard a distinct "crunch" as I came down on my left ankle and my right side is all banged up from catching myself afterwards.

Hubby is in New York, so I drove myself to urgent care (Thing One stayed home from school and watched the baby) and I had to get in a wheelchair and have xrays and it was all really embarrassing. But I couldn't walk on my left foot, and it hurt too bad to try and ignore.

Diagnosis? A sprained ankle and chipped bone in my foot. VERY exciting. I went home with crutches (you should have seen me in the parking lot with them, it was blizzarding) an air cast and a whopping prescription of Naproxen.

I am SO sore today, mostly from the impact, but those crutches give you a workout! The kids put everything on the basement level for me, so I can have the baby downstairs with me today and I won't have to carry him around anywhere. I can't.

I sat down at ten pm to write yesterday, and at 11:46 I had in my 1700 words for the day. My per-day goal is 1650, and I could have written more, but I had to stop myself because of the hour. I usually start writing at 8:45, after the kids are in bed.

Okay, the kids are fixing their own breakfast, and I'd better hobble up there. I smell something burning...

Monday, March 03, 2008

Thing Four is a Daddy's Boy.

Today's IRONIC Headline: "Man hits woman on his way to anger management class" This guy is a major doofus. He punched some random woman at a bus stop and fled, leaving behind his folder with his name and anger management class papers.

Status: Wired. Hmmm. What's up with that?

I can't sleep. I stayed up until 11pm, getting in more words on the WIP, and set the alarm for 6:30. So, what do I hear over the baby monitor at 4:30 am???

"Dadah? Dadah! Daaaaaadaaaaaaaaa!!! Aaahhhhhhhhh! Dad! Dadah!!!!!!" (no, he wasn't crying--he never does that. He was WIDE AWAKE, and happily calling for DAD...)

Let me first say that Thing Four, who will be ten months next week, hasn't woken up this early in a looong time. He usually averages about 6-6:30 am now. Since I value my sleep, this is a good thing. So waking up at 4:30 is NOT a good thing. Adding insult to injury, he wasn't calling for "Momma" --he was calling for his Dad.

Thing Four and Hubby have bonded a lot lately. I don't know what it is, but he just prefers his dad to me, in the sense that he gets more "excited" when Dad's around. Sure, he loves me and everything, but put both Dad and Mom in the same room, and he prefers Dad.

It sorta bugged me at first, but Thing Three was a major Momma's Boy, so I guess I am just used to that. I just wish Hubby was here this morning. I would have turned over and whispered in his sleeping ear: "Sweetie, the baby is calling you, you'd better go feed him!" :-D

It's raining really hard. Maybe that's why I can't sleep. I am not used to hearing rain anymore.
I am getting antsy. I know it's only March, but I am in the mood for "Spring Cleaning." Yeah, I know, I'm insane. It won't be "spring" here for another two months. Actually, Wisconsin doesn't really GET a spring. We just sort of pass right from Dead of Winter into Summer. If we do have a Spring, it usually lasts about one to two weeks.

I am going to have the maid service come and do a deep clean on the house. I've got way too much to do --to spend the next couple of weeks doing what four cleaning people can get done in one day. So I'm making the phone call today, to get on their schedule.

Today should be a pretty quiet day--I'm hoping to up the word count!

Sunday, March 02, 2008

And, We're OFF!!!

Yes, I'm posting on a Sunday. Weekends are usually too busy for me to post (I know, roll your eyes) but they are!

We were all ready for church an hour ago when Thing Three had to go running up the stairs and trip and smash his face into the wood steps. His cheekbone caught the edge of the stair, and he became a screaming hysterical mess.

I got a cold compress on it, but there went going to church. Hubby is traveling, otherwise he could have stayed home with Thing Three. Thing One is mature for her age (ten) but I don't feel good leaving the two of them on their own and driving 35 miles away for three hours.

SO, I'm home. I started writing yesterday, but only got 1308 words in. Not the best (I need 1650 per day to make my goal) but I couldn't just WRITE, because I kept "fixing" the beginning, because frankly, if the beginning doesn't hook the reader, it will suck.
But I'm not worried. I'm going to crank out the words this week.

I will definitely write tonight, when the kids go to bed. I'm having fun getting lost in Emma's world again.