Wednesday, September 19, 2007

*SQUISH*

Status: Seeing red. I'll explain why:

*Squish.* That's the sound you make when it's four in the morning and you sit on a toilet where your FULLY CAPABLE BUT LAZY SON has decided not to lift up the toilet seat before peeing and has gotten pee all over the seat.
*Squish* makes me crazy. *Squish* turns me into the alter-ego my kids call the Screaming Mean Mommy Ogre.

My sons, who are nearly seven and eight, are fully capable of lifting up the toilet seat. Yet unless I am right there watching them pee (no thanks) they always forget.
This morning Thing Two was making his oatmeal for breakfast and suddenly announced he had to pee and ran to the bathroom. I heard all these splashing noises and decided to make an un-announced visit.

Him: "Mommm! Can't you see I'm peeing?"

Me: "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING??? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING?? LOOK AT THAT PEE ALL OVER THE SEAT!!! GUESS WHO HAS TO SIT ON THAT SEAT?? YOUR SISTER AND ME!!! LIFT UP THE TOILET SEAT BEFORE YOU PEE YOU LITTLE..."

...okay you get the jist. Screaming Mean Mommy Ogre came out in full force this morning. I made him wipe the entire toilet down after he finished. I mean, this kid's aim is terrible!!! He was disgusted that I made him do it, but I reiterated to him WHY I don't enjoy the *Squish*. I think he gets it now.

Don't even get me started on how they can't flush.

School is only a half day today, so I am going to run my errands in the morning. Yesterday I put their chore charts in a very prominent space, under the huge calendar I have by the Mud Room. We have a new system now. Every day they fulfill their chores, they get a "Family Buck" (fake money) and they can use the bucks to buy stuff at the Family Store. I think it will be pretty motivating.

I am changing Things Two and Three's chore charts. Do you think they will be embarrassed if I put "Lift Up Toilet Seat Before Peeing And Flush Afterwards" as one of their daily chores???

Nah, me neither.

4 comments:

Michelle Miles said...

Mine manages to life the seat up but he tends to get distracted easlier and ends up peeing all over the place. Usually on himself. And usually right before we have to leave for school. *sigh*

Aren't boys fun?

Devon Ellington said...

Do it. Lara, do it. And it stays there until they've made it a habit.

The future women in their lives will honor you forever.

Yet another reason why I don't have kids of my own, just borrow 'em and give 'em back.

Because some of them grow up and do the same thing.

On a B'way show I once worked, we had to put the following sign up in the unisex bathroom:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
Please be neat and wipe the seat"

Lowa said...

Devon is right. Some people never grow out of it. My husband is very good about not making a mess and freaks out at our three sons. The older two are not bad, but this third one?? MAN! I don't get it!

Aren't three boys fun?? Wait till wee Thing Four is potty trained. teehee

Lynn Sinclair said...

I'd always heard the problem was that they didn't put the toilet seat back down. As bad as it is to plunge into an unseated toilet, I think your experience would be worse.